Living in Facebooks past

I am not on “The Facebook”. The reasons are pretty simple, I don’t want to know want a guy I went to high school with 40 years ago ate for dinner, or that the women who lives two streets behind me hates Hillary and has the video to prove it or that my Dad has the Easter bunny visiting his yard and here is a picture of his (her?) poop (I still contend they are left over Raisinets). The bottom line, I don’t have enough space in my life for Facebook, I don’t have space in my life to care about what you ate for dinner, or that you hate Hillary, or that you are wasting perfectly good Raisinets in your yard.

Facebook is about the past, it’s about yesterday. It’s about look where I have been, look who I saw, look what I wore and look what I bought, look, look, look. Honestly who gives a crap, apparently 1.6 billion of you do give a crap. I’ve got a past and I don’t need to relive it with you or 500 of my “closest” Facebook friends, none of us do.

The important parts of my past, the parts I want and need to remember, meeting my wife, getting married, our first house and the birth of my children are already there for me in pictures and stories. These moments are etched in my brain and you don’t need to know about them. They add no value to your existence so why share it and why would you want it to take-up space in your own life?

As Neil Young said “The past is such a big place” and believe me it doesn’t need any help getting bigger. It is estimated that 107 billion people have lived on this earth, wrap your head around that number. So think about it, 107 billion people who had 107 billion past, Neil’s right the past is a pretty big place. We don’t need Facebook’s help. The past is going to happen without the advertising, the likes or the messages. The bigger question is; why are you still living in it? You are one of 7 billion people here today. We all need to focus on being one of the 7 billion living in the present.

The solution is simple, get off of it. Quit comparing your life to some random Joe who you barely know. You realize, don’t you, they are only sharing the good parts of their life. Facebook is like the Christmas card you get every year from the family who includes the year-long narrative about how great the year has been, how smart their kids are and what fabulous vacations they went on. Sorry, I don’t buy it, no way in hell they had 365 days of heavenly bliss. I would rather hear the story about the mess, then I would know their story, like my story, is real.

About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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56 Responses to Living in Facebooks past

  1. Ko says:

    This post is so very true. We always seek the validation of others and all their decisions. I don’t need to be friends with a girl who barely talked to me in high school, and know what she’s doing. We just need to feel ‘connected.’ That’s why a couple months ago I started my facebook ‘purge.’ I’m slowly defriending all the people that I am not truly connected with in real life. When I was younger it was always about the quantity of my friendships, now its about the quality. Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Everything I just read is so true. Thank you for writing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. themrrodge says:

    There is truth to what you said, however, I think it depends on your purpose for being on Facebook. I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. I enjoy being in contact with friends and family that I rarely see, especially since I live far from where I grew up. At the same time, I hate the superficial aspect of it (showing off, bragging, degrading, etc.). I have purged my friends’ list and rebuilt for practical purposes like networking, since I’m looking to move in an entrepreneurial direction.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dymoon says:

    good post, I would like to give you another side though, I thought like you for some time, and then a friend moved a great distance, and she suggested we keep in touch,her preference was FB, so I joined with some reluctance, but I did it. I soon discovered that many friends or former clients were on FB, I don’t necessarily still use it for keeping in touch, in fact seldom. But I have found it to be a wonderful “tool” for the elderly in our community who are shut in or house bound for what ever reason, I’ve seen the pleasure it has given them, and learning to play a game such as cafeland, or play words with someone, when all their friends have either passed or no longer live close by.
    Their family keeps in touch with them with pictures and stories and events,that keepe them in touch till the family member can travel back to visit in person.
    So while I agree with you in part, I also have to say, FB has its place and pluses.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. norsyafawati says:

    I never have FB account and I am pretty proud of that fact. Maybe introvert have no need to be sociable and networking is just a new way to socializing. I don’t feel the need to show people what am I up to every now and then (or none at all) but again there’s people like my mum who like to show the world. In fact I feel a bit sick when anyone can easily look you up on the net.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. sallysuccess says:

    I see Facebook as a coin, both sides, pros and cons. True most people showcase the best of what’s happening with them; sure it’s good to rejoice with what’s good. However, others do share what’s not going on well with them. I see it more as a virtual community. Moderation as a commenter above recommended is best. It’s use in our lives becomes worthwhile in the use we make of it. Cheers, and thanks for stopping by Positive Scribbles.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I don’t have FB either…but have been considering it as a way to open my blogging to a wider audience. I am concerned about our children though. One of my grandkids has 550 FB friends, so I asked her how many of them she could call on to help her move….I guess I touched a nerve.
    Please keep up the great writing.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hi there.
    Interesting blog, I enjoyed reading. There’s just one thing I really need to know. Why does the women hate Hilary. What did she do?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I like this perspective. Facebook is a lot about the past. The most I really do on Facebook is post my blog post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. shel29 says:

    Like everything else, Facebook has its good and bad sides. It’s a time-waster for sure, but it is a great way to spread something you want to share, such as music and information. It is superficial, but can be used to reach people if you want to sell tix to a concert you can’t attend, for example. And I found my cousin, whom I hadn’t had contact with for 20 years, on FB. Thanks for an interesting blog.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. jackcollier7 says:

    Oh, I really agree with you here. Leaving Facebook is something I think of doing about once a week ~ and I don’t care enough about Facebook to even look at it, let alone leave it… Actually, that’s a lie. About once a week I log on to the damn thing, just to mark all my notifactions as ‘read’. Not that I read anything, I just have a tidy mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I agree with a couple of other commenters, in that sometimes FB is a forum for a purpose other than eavesdropping on an old boyfriend’s vacation or whatever. In my case, I’ve cast my FB net far and wide to reach potential readers for my books. Yes, I have a few “real” friends on FB. But my overriding goal is having a few thousand more people who know when I have a book coming out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s interesting to me that so many people use Facebook as a business tool. Having owned a small business I understand the need of casting the net to capture customers using the most efficient and affordable means possible. Good luck with your books and thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.


  13. Facebook, like TV, is a time sucker. I have a FB account, but rarely log on. It all got to be too superficial. The only reason I haven’t deleted it is that it’s tied to my author page, but if I discover a way to separate the two, I will do so and delete my personal account.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. amircampbell says:

    That was awesome man. I think your suspicions about that “poop” may be spot on- only time will tell… Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hi Endsandbeginnings, I pretty much agree with you about the world of social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, MySpace, Flickr, LinkedIn, etc. are all sources for some to seek validation. I am only on Facebook which is enough for me. The reason being is so that I can connect with my family and friends and to inspire them in any way I can, enlighten them, and to help them become better. I have been a single parent with 2 daughters for 16 years so I have a lot to prove to them. Only within the last 5 years have I really come to know myself enough to help them understand life. I use Facebook to direct my followers over to my “inspirational” blog; so there are some positives. Have a wonderful day! 🙂 ~dp

    Liked by 1 person

  16. mukhamani says:

    I think everything is as we look at it. I make it a point not to be online all time. I like facebook because it has helped me to be in contact, however little, with so many of my relatives, specially the younger generation, my friends and with children who grew up with our children in our campus and are now in different parts of the world. These days we cannot visit people and most of the time we meet at some family function. And because of Facebook we do not meet as strangers. It is a good feeling. If I don’t like something I just ignore it. It all depends on us. Regards.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Karen says:

    Guity of wasting time on FB and reposting lost pet pictures. But still waste a lot of time….

    Liked by 2 people

  18. We joined FB along with a few other social media outlets seeing about using them for business. NOT. (And I dumped all else save the blog. I write three, you found me as zenkatwrites.) I am very disciplined about not falling into the black hole that is FB.
    I have a great group of active friends in my home town (a nice town) and that was fun — I like history and there is a lot of California history I’ve never hard from that group. But we are actually friends, not hashing over old stuff and so far, no what-they-ate…. But mostly, about the time I was going to call it quits I was picked up by a world-wide group of serious artist and that is the most fun of all. I’m connected intimately with 150 people who have a tight bond on our watercolor/architectural sketches, and then I am in some other groups which allow for a stream of fun art from around the world, and a sharing of tools and such that has saved me a small bundle by directing me to ward great products for what I want to do. I have, however, kept my actual friends to a small group, and send people packing by being a lefty — weeds out the riff-raff — or, seriously, the intolerant. I had to make it work for me, and if not for the art, would be long gone.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Wow, I never thought of it this way before. Perhaps that’s why Facebook makes me feel so empty if I spend too much time there. Thanks for sharing this view I can now approach it from a different angle!


  20. Laura Goodwin says:

    I have been off of Fakebook for months and have not missed it! Sadly, I may need to leverage it to increase my readership. But I figure, hey, you owe me Fakebook for all of the joy, time, and energy you have taken from me…it’s time to pay up!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s funny Laura. We have so little time here we should all do a better job of identifying those things that suck the precious time away. We can’t EVER get the time back. Thank you for reading love and for taking the time to comment. It means the world to me.


  21. Daal says:

    Good insights here. I have a such a love/hate with FB – only recently finally got on it. Am grateful for how it help me connect with potential readers of my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Living Life Coaching says:

    Your words – “I would rather hear the story about the mess, then I would know their story, like my story, is real.” – so true, we are so prone to comparing ourselves with ‘perfection’ we forget that they are people just like us, warts and all – thank you for your eye opener 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Pingback: Facebook friends: Reconnecting with total strangers | Ends and Beginnings

  24. Daniella Romano says:

    I love how bluntly accurate this is. Social media is just everywhere now and if you don’t have it you’re seen as backwards. Definitely in need of an alternative view like yours. I always forget that people are only showing the best bits of their lives!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Pingback: If it’s on Facebook it must be true | Ends and Beginnings

  26. evanaweb says:

    Hello. I am new to wordpress and I just found your blog and I must say you were exactly what I was hoping to find from this site so thank you for your posts. Now referring to this post, I must say I agree with you up until one point. I agree that Facebook refers to the past, but I don’t believe that is the problem, because we often ask our friends how there day was seeking to learn about the past. But the reason why the first is completely different to the other is because the problem with Facebook is that it has become somewhat of a virtual reality to those who use it frequently. Posting a picture becomes something more than sharing the day, it means seeking acceptance socially, seeking attention for the places you’ve been or the way you look. To me it has become the cause of pretentiousness, since so many people picture a flawless life on Facebook when in reality they may be miserable. It has made the world a place where people seek the momentary and temporary happiness of a “like” more than the fulfillingness of truly doing what you love, living in the moment, opening your mental horizon and cultivating yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

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  28. Very insightful! I have a strained relationship with Facebook. Witnessing some of my relatives political views in real time and with memes has inspired me to step away and take a vacation from Facebook on more than one occasion. I keep returning because I miss not seeing photo posts of my grandkids. I also enjoy following the travel posts and happy announcements of former colleagues and students. I am guilty of posting travel adventures and “checking in” at concerts and amazing restaurants. Aside from pet death announcements, I NEVER share the bad stuff. While some people are overly transparent on Facebook, my profile is deliberately skewed. It is not that I seek to boast about my seemingly good fortune, but rather that I cannot comfortably share my pain -be it physical, mental, spiritual, or societal – next to the chain-mail posts, random ads, and fake news that clog my scroll. Facebook reigns as the medium of shallow dialogue.

    Liked by 1 person

    • “overly transparent” – I like that description. My father is “overly transparent” as is my mother in-law.

      Certainly Facebook has a place in our society but as the last election proved it’s place is not to become our main source of facts. “It must be true, I saw it on Facebook” has become the mantra for many, too many.


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