- The passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another
- A movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another
I am in my mid-fifties and have been married 30 + years. Over the course of my life I have experienced my fair share of transitions. My wife and I are in the throes of a new one, no children at home, just the two of us rumbling around in a house too big for two people with a cat and two dogs. The dynamics are interesting but I know there is more in-store.
If I am fortunate to live another 20 years or so there will be new transitions I will face, possibly another wedding to pay for, grandchildren, retirement from work, decisions about parents, financial issues, age issues, health issues and then the ultimate transition, depending on your religious bent, death. Life is all about transitioning from one side to the other and the quality of our life, and the life of those around us, is based on how well we accept and react to those transitions.
There was one transition I did not react too or handle very well and that was my children no longer needing their Dad as much as they use too. I took and take my role as a father very seriously, honestly I truly believe it is the sole reason I was put on this earth. Unfortunately when you have all your eggs in that one basket and the eggs start leaving you end up with, you guessed it, an empty basket.
Rather than sitting back and thinking what a great job I did as father, preparing my children to leave the nest I didn’t want it to end, I wanted more and I couldn’t see the “more” that was ahead of me. Mentally I held on, though physically I had to let go, children force you too. This was a tough transition for me. Other Dad’s I knew were doing back-flips when their kids started leaving but I didn’t and couldn’t.
Overtime, I worked through it with the help of my family and pedaling a bicycle 5,000 miles a year. The funny thing is, I love them, would do anything for each of them, but now I don’t want them back in the house for any extended length of time. I have my routines, I am comfortable with my role as an “adviser” rather than the “fixer”, though I still do some fixing when asked.
Life is full of transitions. We need to accept them for what they are, a natural mark in time, the conclusion of a job well done and the preparation for the jobs ahead. It is okay to be sad about transitions just don’t let that grief take over your life or the life that you have left. We all need to stay on our toes, ready to welcome, react and battle through the transitions ahead of each of us.