Letting go-A Dad’s story

“Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away.  The moments that used to define them are covered by moments of their own accomplishments.  It is not until much later, that children understand; their stories and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the water of their lives.” ― Paulo Coelho

My children are adults. I forget that but I won’t apologize for sometimes treating them like kids because, here is the thing, they are still my babies. If I live to be 100 years old and they are 70, guess what, they are still my babies though at that point in my life they will probably be the ones wiping the food off my mouth. I don’t like the way they drive, to fast and to close. I don’t like how late they stay out or how late it is when they get started to go out. I don’t understand Uber, but if it is safer than driving home after too many beers I am all for it, I still don’t understand it. I carry cash and give them a $20 whenever I see them because a debit card won’t solve all of the world’s problems.

My role as a Dad has gone from the fixer to the tell me how to get it fixed. I still get the occasional “What should I do” calls, but as time passes by I get fewer and fewer of them. I realize you learn by doing. Sometimes you get it right sometimes you get it wrong but there is a lesson in each action. What wisdom I have has been gained from living. Interacting with good people and bad, doing stuff I like and stuff I had hated. When my children were little I navigated those storms for them. What you hope happens is that they were watching and learning. Fortunately for me, mine were.

I have loosened my grip, the rope now glides through my fingers but I am happy to grab a handful when asked. Yes I will still tell them to slow down, get your oil changed and that the credit limit on your Visa is just a number not a goal to achieve. I will also tell them I love them, how proud I am of them and that being their Dad is, by far, the best job in the world.

“Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, Wings to fly away and exercise what’s been taught them.” – Dr. Jonas Salk

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About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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19 Responses to Letting go-A Dad’s story

  1. Raja White says:

    You are a good dad. My dad is alive my mom died in 2012. My dad moved to Florida to start a new family. He said he deserves to be happy like his punishment was his family for 45 years. I haven’t talked to him in 4 years. I emailed him when I found out I was sick like sick not the flu. He replied I am sorry you are sick but I can’t be there for you I deserve my happiness and nothing is going to get in the way of that. #FindingRaja I need my or a family more than anything right now. It makes me sad. I loved your post sorry if this is a drag but both sides of the coin huh. Peace and love!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a mother to two sons one already left and the other getting ready to go next year, I love this post ! It was great to read about parenthood from a father’s perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. lbalex50 says:

    So refreshing! As a Mother of 3 adult children and 1 grandchild, I find myself desiring the days of pancakes for dinner, pajama days, and snuggling in bed on a snow day. Parenthood is a beautiful thing. We have been given the challenge of shaping the lives of those in our charge…producing productive citizens and good people. I smile when my grandchild does something that my son use to do. I get to relive Disney movies, Ninja turtles, power rangers, holidays and birthdays vicariously through their lives. I love my kids, but I like them as people. It’s wonderful to hear “Mom, I love you” or to still get those hugs out of nowhere!! Thanks for this wonderful blog

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a great reminder always, and a life long learning perhaps …even though we get it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jlfatgcs says:

    Fantastic post. Bravo to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Patty says:

    I like Paulo, but I also like this post a lot.
    XxX

    Like

  7. Belinda O says:

    When my dad was in his 50s, he visited my grandfather, who was in his 90s, in the nursing home. My dad lived several states away and rarely saw his father. When he walked in, my grandpa exclaimed, “My baby!” It made my dad’s day…maybe his year….maybe longer.

    Liked by 1 person

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