Hard decisions and a Dad’s pain

My youngest had to make a hard, grown up decision today and I can’t give her hug and tell her everything is going to be okay because she is 1,500 miles away. Yes, she is a twenty something year old adult. Yes, this will be just one of many hard, grown up decisions she will have to make in her life. And, yes whether she is twenty, thirty or forty she is and will always be my baby.

I have spent all day worried about her, hurting for her. She called me for advice early this morning and I laid out what I thought the possible scenarios were. Some were good and some were bad. My wife jumped my ass for even bringing up the negatives, but I had to. Why shield her from the worst? The glass isn’t always half empty or half full sometimes the glass just is. I would rather walk her through both so that she has the opportunity to process the information and the options. This wasn’t a decision I was going to be able to make for her. I wish I could. I would gladly absorb all the hurt and pain. But I am here and she is there, 1,500 miles away.

I have had some rough spots in my life. I am not particularly happy with where I am at vocationally right now. Money is tight and rather than slowing down, smelling the roses and being as financially comfortable as I thought I might be at my age, I am faced with a fair amount of uncertainty. With all that said the one thing I am certain about is my undying love for my family and that I will always try to be the best father that I can be. No amount money, job or prestige can ever replace my love for them or what I am willing to do for them.

My youngest had to make a hard, grown up decision today. I talked her through it. I reassured her that she made the right decision. Maybe it didn’t feel like it at the moment but it would later. And though I couldn’t see it I could feel it, she grew some more, another step towards the day when she won’t need to call her Dad for reassurance. But whether I am here physically or just spiritually she will always know that I am willing to walk beside of her because that is the greatest gift I can offer my greatest gifts. I am Dad and there isn’t any other job I would rather have.


About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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18 Responses to Hard decisions and a Dad’s pain

  1. You’re a great dad too, the love shines out of this like a beacon, one though far away, I’m sure she feels the warmth of. *smiles*

    – esme upon the Cloud

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Never gets any easier, does it, even as they get older. Hope everything works out for the best x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. manqindi says:

    It’s hard – maybe the advice one gives is flawed, outdated, inappropriate; our own experiences were tested some while back. But maybe it’s good, especially if both sides are looked at. It is usually the tone and the reassurance of love that is the support – they can make their own choices intellectually, it’s just handling the associated emotions that is hard. Well done: your love is palpable!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. etherealbeingsinmylife says:

    This is such a beautiful blog piece. There is no greater pain to bear than knowing that your child is struggling, in pain or suffering in any way.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. etherealbeingsinmylife says:

    We all have something that we have had to deal with or will have to deal with. A parent with a child who is suffering is a parent who is suffering, regardless. Hope all works out well for your daughter.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. evanaweb says:

    This was so touching. I as well am at your daughters age and soon will probably have to leave the house for somewhere far. Already the idea of leaving my family makes me sad. Maybe the idea that so many others have to go through the same thing will give us strength and help us know that this is a natural outcome in life and it is for the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Belinda O says:

    As a daughter who just turned 57, I can tell you with complete confidence there will always be times she will need to talk to you, for assurance, comfort or to share a confidence. Knowing you are there is the greatest gift you have given her.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. rudymariee says:

    Love your writing style.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Patty says:

    Beautiful post and within again wise lessons. I love the line “The glass isn’t always half empty or half full sometimes the glass just is.”
    There comes a time, you will go for advice to your daughters and they will pass back your wisdom to you…Circle of life 🙂


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