I occasionally like to eat a Wendy’s double cheeseburger. No, it is not on my diet. Hell no, I don’t tell my wife that’s what I had for lunch. Yes, a greasy cheeseburger every once in a while might kill ya, but hey everybody’s gotta die from something. And to balance out all the calories, fat, carbs, beef oh and a large order of fries I do get a Diet Coke. Hey I’m not a caveman.
Here is the deal, if President Trump really wants to Make America Great Again he would sign one of his ego driven, photo-op choreographed Executive Order’s making it mandatory that Wendy’s, McDonald’s and Burger King sale us a burger that looks like the pictures they advertise. I have never, ever unwrapped my Wendy’s double cheeseburger and had a masterpiece like what is pictured above in front of me. I mean look at that image, it is a sculptured masterpiece of juicy goodness. Honestly, it should be a federal crime using false advertising, the old bait and switch, to lure us in with all that fresh deliciousness pictured on the menu boards above our heads. It is a promise that Wendy’s isn’t delivering and I am mad as hell about it.
And this tubby man with the little hands, a “bigly”, “big-time” and “yuge” fan of Colonel Sanders and Kentucky Fried Chicken could, at least by appearances, be the right man for the job. Granted the vast majority of us would view a Big Mac as fast food, but his Basket of Deplorables would rank Wendy’s and Burger King in the category of “casual dining” and a night out at The Cracker Barrel as a “fine dining” experience. Maybe this wasn’t a campaign promise but I guarantee this is one Executive Order that would stand-up in the lower courts.
Think about it, if The Donald fixed “Fake Burgers” the Obama Healthcare plan would take care of itself. 43% of us (Trump’s approval rating) would be dead from coronary disease in a matter of twelve months and the rest of us, the healthy ones, could afford damn near any kind of health care plan the politicians threw at us.
So Mr. President pull out your smart phone, do some thump stretches, and get busy tweeting. You can win this war, you can put an end to this travesty. “Fake Burgers” are destroying the fabric of our communities, and the fabric in the seat of our bulging stretchy sweatpants.