The peer in pressure

Two lawyer neighbors of mine invited me to lunch today. Let’s call them “lawyer #1” and “lawyer #2”. This purpose of this lunch was to gauge my reaction to a guy that lives in our neighborhood who also happens to be a lawyer and his plans to possibly throw his hat in the ring to represent our district on City Council. We will call him “the candidate”.

Now when lawyer #1 called me last week he explained what he and lawyer #2 wanted to discuss with me. Both of these guys voted for Trump. Both of these guys know that I didn’t. Both of these guys simply couldn’t vote for Hillary Clinton and both of them knew how I felt about Trump. I stood behind lawyer #1 and his wife in the voting line for 45 minutes and they were both Dicks (I don’t know what the equivalent word is for his wife so let’s just go with dick plural) telling everyone that would listen how their boy Trump was going to shake the world up tonight. Sadly, they were right, but still Dicks. I know and like lawyer #2 though I was not surprised he voted for Trump (his wife didn’t, she told me so). It was what was expected of him, voting for the candidate with the Big R next to his name.

Sorry, I got off track. So why me for lunch? It appears that I was the only 50+ year-old, white male that they knew or at the very least felt comfortable being seen with who freely admits voting for Hillary Clinton. Lawyers #1 and #2 wanted to get my “impressions” and “thoughts” about the candidate they were encouraging to run for City Council.

Now I live in a “mixed” district, that is to say we have a lot of rich white Republicans that live in big houses but we also have several African-American and Latino neighborhoods in our district, who, Lawyers #1 and #2 assumed rightly or wrongly, would be Democrats. So enter me, the Democrat, and the liberal. What did I think about their candidate?

Our current City Council representative wears the Republican brand but I also know him as a kind, considerate and compassionate guy. Certainly more moderate than a hard ass conservative. I know the candidate, I use to go to Church with him until we got all “warm and fuzzy” with the LGBT community. He and his wife left after that and are attending a Church that understands what God really thinks about gay people (hint, at least according to them, God doesn’t like it).

So I was able to sum up my “impressions” and “thoughts” about the candidate rather succinctly for Lawyers #1 and #2, “I wouldn’t vote for that homophobic piece of shit if he was the only man running”. Turns out it was a very short lunch.

I walked out with lawyer #2. I got an update on his kids and I offered him the same with mine. And then he said something that he asked I not repeat, if he could do it all over again he would vote for Hillary Clinton like his wife did. I told him we all know that would not have made a difference and knew that, but he said it would make him feel better. You see, he thought Trump would “settle down”. He assumed the “crazy” act was just for the campaign and television. He really didn’t figure thirty days later he would still be acting like this. Then he said something that chilled me, “A lot of us that voted for him think like this but it is not socially advantageous for us to talk about it.” 

My wife and I don’t get invited to any of the neighborhood cookouts or Christmas parties because we are not socially advantageous. When our kids were little we bit our tongues a lot so that our children wouldn’t be social outcast. It is hard enough being a teenager without your parents opinions pulling you down. But our children knew our political and social beliefs. They also knew, as they got older, that those views didn’t match-up with most of their friends parents.

It is sad that we let our peers define our views. But I understand why it happens. There is a lot of pressure to live in the right zip code, wear the right clothes, and attend the right Church. It seems very superficial, which coincidentally is an adjective I have used often to describe our President.

About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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24 Responses to The peer in pressure

  1. Erics Illusions says:

    I happen to be in the category that didn’t vote for Trump or Clinton. I actually wrote in David Ortiz. You know…Red Sox nation. Basically threw my vote away and now wish I had voted for Trump.
    I don’t know if you follow a fellow blogger; StCyril who yesterday wrote a blog about Trump that, in my book, nailed it. It’s called “You want more Trump. Pay the piper.” Check it out and check out the video included in the post. It’s why I find myself rooting for Trump and defending his stance and out bursts.


    • Send me a link. I am not rooting for him to fail, my 401K can’t afford that. I am rooting for him not to be such an egomaniac dickhead.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Erics Illusions says:

        We are what we are. Some are egomaniac dickheads, some are Dali Lamas or Mother Teresa’s. I’m just sick of the negativity being spewed every damn day about the stupidest things. Someone had her feet up on the Oval Office Couch and that made news??? Are you kidding me?? Anyway..I thought this was a good post:

        Liked by 1 person

        • I guess I have a different view of what the press is doing than StCyril and maybe even you. You are correct “we are what we are” but like the Buddha, there is no reason to be satisfied with that. Each of us has the capacity to change, to grow, to learn. Compassion and kindness aren’t ingrained behaviors, they are developed through experiences and use. We all start off as selfish brats but most of us grow out of that.

          My pray is that our President will “mellow” into the job of representing every American and will at some point understand the enormity of the position. In order to do that he needs to develop a thicker skin (go back and read some of the Breitbart and Fox News articles about President Obama as a comparison). People are going to pick him apart, that comes with the J-O-B.


          • Erics Illusions says:

            Right…maybe (I say maybe because I’m questioning the idea of free will, but that’s a different subject) maybe I am unsatisfied with myself and can change myself, but I cannot change you or anyone else. I can scream at Trump, shake my fists at him, picket and march, work myself into a tizzy, hold up Obama as an example for him to be like, but Trump is Trump and there’s only one person that can change him and he has to look at that person in the mirror every day. You will never change him or anyone. Anyway..thanks for the discussion. Time will tell, eh?

            Liked by 1 person

          • All true, but I think about George Bush #2. He started his reign very arrogantly (actually he was a real smart ass) and when his terms were over he left the office a much more humble and compassionate man albeit one still making some boneheaded decisions that almost bankrupted this country.

            My hope is that Trump will look in the mirror and not just see his face but my daughters faces, his grandchildren, the spouses of our men and women in the service. It’s the weight of the office that changes people and hopefully the office weighs more than his ego. Yes, time will tell and none of us have enough of that.

            Liked by 2 people

          • Nan says:

            You wrote: It’s the weight of the office that changes people . I’ve often wondered how the (very) vain tRump is going to handle the effects the responsibilities of this office will have on his physical appearance.

            Liked by 2 people

          • Should be an interesting transformation. I can promise you he will battle gravity but gravity always, ALWAYS, wins.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Erics Illusions says:

            Right, I just saw that Bush and Michelle O became buddies?

            Liked by 1 person

  2. Suze says:

    I don’t think any of us that are disgusted my POTUS 45 wants him to fail. I personally want him to stop acting as if he has a clue how to run the country and ask people that know HOW to do so to advise him..and actually listen to and act upon that advice. I want him to stop acting like a spoiled brat of a three year old and act like he understands he is the president. I want him to learn to tell the truth and stop blaming everyone else for his own screw-ups. I want him to be an ethical person. Of course, none of the things I want are going to happen or they would have already.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. etherealbeingsinmylife says:

    This post is very sad. I am sorry you had to endure such a lunch. Being the mother of a gay son (who has now crossed over and is accepted and loved by the Creator/Source/God), I have to say I am very proud of your church.The truth is that we are all accepted and loved by God, no matter who we are or what our lifestyle is. I know this because I am psychic medium who maintains relationships with her children and other family members who have crossed over.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Yeah, sorry I’m not as charitable as you guys. As one of your blogger friends wrote, “he is everything my daddy raised me not to be.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Patty says:

    For our art-group The Strix I wrote a piece for the topic Authentic. I ask in it, why it is we feel we can’t be authentic anymore. I ended the piece with this line “As soon as we stop being authentic, stop telling and sharing our real stories and true feelings, authenticity will be lost in shallowness.”
    I think you and your wife are very brave people to keep living in that district.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Love your post! I find many many things sad about Trump but one thing that really bothers me is if you are for Trump, the other side is sure you’re a racist SOB, but if you’re against Trump, you’re a traitor and unpatriotic. I keep spewing out quotes from past Presidents that say it’s ok to dissent, ok to disagree etc. it doesn’t mean I’m a traitor.

    Liked by 1 person

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