The evil empire……..Canada?

“Canada has made business for our dairy farmers in Wisconsin and other border states very difficult. We will not stand for this. Watch!” – Donald Trump tweet 4-25-17

I freely admit that I know little to nothing about Canada. I know where it is, North. I know that Jim Carrey, Mike Myers and the living legend, the Godfather of grunge Neil Young are all Canadian. Hockey is a big, at least I assume it is. That it is a large country and that some of its citizens speak French. That’s about it. Nothing scary, nothing threatening.

I would say Canada has been a pretty good neighbor, honestly I could go so far as to say a great neighbor. In my 56 years of walking on this earth I can’t recall reading or hearing about Canada organizing an invasion of the United States or that they had ballistic missiles pointed at the fine folks in Wausau, Wisconsin. All in all I think we have gotten along famously with Canada. So why is our President picking a fight with them? Because that is what Bully’s do, pick fights.

Growing up I remember Prime Minster Justin Trudeau’s dad, who was also a Prime Minster, Pierre. Honestly what I mostly remember is Justin’s mom Margaret who danced at Studio 54 and hung out with the Rolling Stones. All good things in my teenage mind. We certainly didn’t read about Nancy Reagan hanging out with Mick and Keith or Andy Warhol and I am not sure I would have wanted too. But anyway, the point is, Canada was okay by me and The Adventures of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew, one of my favorite movies.

So to the citizens of Canada I would like to offer you an apology for our ugly orange American. His poll numbers suck. He hasn’t accomplished shit in his first 100 days and it is highly unlikely that he will accomplish anything in the next four years other than line his pockets with favors and money, piss off other countries and maybe, if we are lucky, get impeached before he wrecks our environment. He thinks talking tough and dropping bombs makes him look Presidential. Fortunately, the majority of us, think it makes him and us look foolish to everyone else. But he has the power, he has the title so God help us all, even you O Canada.

“The Canadian spirit is cautious, observant and critical where the American is assertive.” – V. S. Pritchett