Turning Jesus into Santa Claus

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.” – Jesus Christ

Jesus lamb

This is the Jesus I grew-up with as a kid. Caucasian, flowing brown hair and a neat, trimmed beard. He is contemplative, gentle, clean, and oh so fresh. Now you and I know this image isn’t even remotely close to what Jesus looked like. But somewhere along the line this middle-eastern man became what is pictured above. His transformation reminds me a lot of the evolution of Santa Claus. Do you remember seeing pictures of old Chris Cringle from the 1800’s and then how Macy’s or Coca-Cola crafted him? Same magic we have been working on Jesus for the last 2,000 years.

Experts believe this is probably what the man Evangelical Christians have staked their eternal soul on really looks like;


I would suspect this guy would have a tough time getting through airport security, or hailing a cab in Dallas, Texas and certainly he would have the pew to himself at any number of First Baptist Churches spread out across this country. Why? Because he looks more like Barack Obama than Franklin Graham. This isn’t the image of the Evangelical Jesus. This is the new Jesus for white America in Trump world;

Buffed Jesus

This is bad-ass Jesus. Don’t take no-shit Jesus. My way or the highway Jesus. Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth Jesus. This, ladies and gentleman is Trump’s Jesus which stands to reason is the new Evangelical Christian Jesus as well. He is tough, buff, and kicking-ass and taking names. He is making a list, and checking it twice….. No wait wrong legend or is it? 



About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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12 Responses to Turning Jesus into Santa Claus

  1. Nan says:

    Hey, if Jesus really did look like that buffed up guy, I might be interested in becoming part of his family. Talk about a protector! Just say the word and POW!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. WOW! Welcome back, brother, I was concerned over the past few weeks that you had lost your pizazz. LOL.Yes, that rendition of a middle Eastern Jesus simply could not hang on 1st Baptist church wall in Trumptown, USA. (Do they know that he was probably 5 feet tall or less?)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Who knew Jesus was really Rambo?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Scottie says:

    So instead of man being made in gods image, American Jesus was made in white man’s image. Now just how Holy is that? How many would convert for a dark skinned curly haired man from the Middle East? 🙂 Great post. Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  5. William Tell says:

    Past few days, an inescapable image in Baltimore media has been that of the face of one Radee Labeeb Prince. As far as I know, Jesus may look exactly like him.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. William Tell says:

    FTR, last night I saw the season’s first Christmas-themed commercial, involving using Hershey’s Kisses to make cookies. As I recall, it was just about this time last year I saw that season’s first Christmas commercial, also involving Hershey’s Kisses; if I recall, the handbells playing “We wish you …”

    Liked by 1 person

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