I have some decisions to make in the coming weeks and months, decisions about my work future, decisions about the direction of my life.
I have enjoyed writing post on WordPress and sharing my thoughts, hopes and wishes on this weird little universe. I have also enjoyed getting to know many of you and reading your responses to my thoughts, hopes and wishes. But after almost two years and 758 post I need to take a break, again. I am not so much tired as I am just brain-dead from all the crazy shit that seems to be circling around us.
Unfortunately I take some of this crazy shit too seriously and at times too passionately. It bears a weight that seems to heavy for me to shoulder and I get mad wondering why more people aren’t as pissed off about it as I am. That’s not healthy. It’s not healthy for me or for the people who I love.
I have a birthday coming up, 57 years old, just three years away from 60. I know 60 isn’t old, hell the closer I get to it the younger it seems to be but there is something about the number, 60, it’s a big number and I have begun to wonder if I am ready to handle the responsibility that comes with the number. Today, right now, I am not.
I have learned a lot from many of you over the last two years. Lessons of courage, of compassion and empathy. It has been interesting to hear your stories. Interesting to feel your warmth through a computer screen. Interesting to see your support as a footnote to what I have created with two fingers and minimal gray matter between my ears. I thank each of you for that.
I have also experienced hate, anger and intolerance from the words I have stringed together. I have never worried about what people think of me, I am very comfortable in my skin but it does hurt me to think that some of these same people who attack me are attacking others that might not be able to handle it as well as I can. Intolerant bully’s attack the soft spots of other humans that they perceive as being easy targets. Skin color, sexuality, and religion seem to be the most common soft spots targeted today. Sadly, we have a bully President that has embolden these people, giving them a voice to spew their hate. What hurts me the most is I can’t protect the people these bully’s or our President target. That is just the Dad in me, but it weighs heavy on my soul.
So I am going to recharge and enjoy the holidays with my family. I am going to think about where I am headed and hope I see some signs from God, Buddha, Brahma or Santa Claus along the way to help direct me. As I have done in the past I will respond to any comments that need responding too and I am happy to get into a battle of wits with any of you pious Christians who take personal offense to my positions about your beliefs (I said I was taking a break, not dying).
So to each of you, whatever you celebrate or don’t celebrate use this time over the coming weeks to love each other but most importantly, love yourself. There is no way we can love each other or love the blessings of this creation if you don’t begin with loving YOU!
Peace & Blessings
“Human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives.” – Howard Zinn