USA Today reports that since January 1, 2018 GOP candidates and allied groups have run 13,000 ads on TV mentioning Hillary Clinton or showing her photo. Why do you think these Republican mid-term candidates and PAC’s are rehashing the election of 2016? I will tell you why, because the leader of the GOP, that would be Trump, is bat shit crazy and has done little to nothing except beat Hillary Clinton. Isn’t that interesting? 15 months and “our” Dayglo Presidents crowning achievement is beating Clinton almost two years ago.
They can’t talk about the tax-cuts because those haven’t turned out to good for the working-class deplorable base. And how about that wall that Mexico was supposed to build? Not happening, but hey remember when I bet Crooked Hillary by a landslide? It was the greatest victory in American history. Don’t believe it? Just ask me, I got a map and everything.
How about that Muslim ban? You know the one that was going to keep those brownies out, not the smarts ones, just the ones that own 7-11’s. Yea, that hasn’t gone to well either. It’s the Democrats fault and those liberal judges that the guy from Kenya appointed. But hey, I beat Crooked Hillary and just think about all the liberal judges she would have appointed. Probably a lot of women and definitely some black and brown ones too. See what I have protected you from?
We can’t talk about economic sanctions or trade embargo’s because right now all I am doing is tweeting about it. I really don’t know or understand what it would mean to a farmer that sells 90% of his soybean crop to China or how the prices would increase at Walmart. But isn’t it fun to create all this chaos with just 140 characters? I can tweet: “Looks like OPEC is at it again. With record amounts of Oil all over the place, including the fully loaded ships at sea, Oil prices are artificially Very High! No good and will not be accepted!” and what happens? That’s right, gas prices go up. But I don’t give a shit. I don’t dive. You know, if I hadn’t kicked Crooked Hillary’s ass (did I show you my map?) we would all be wearing turbans, naming our children Barack Obama and gas would be $100.00 a gallon. Instead I have eliminated all the regulations so great American companies like Ford can just build gas guzzling trucks and SUV’s. Have you seen my map?
And healthcare, have you seen my plan for healthcare? You haven’t? Hmm, must be under one of these maps. I got a plan. No really I do. It’s the greatest plan ever. I make the best and smartest plans. But it’s a surprise, to keep those obstructionist Democrats on their toes. I want to see theirs first and then “Bam” I will throw mine down on top of the electoral map, the map that shows how bad I beat Crooked Hillary and everyone will be amazed, truly amazed, because that is what I do, I amaze people. Ask Kim Jong-un he is amazed. He even said I deserve a Nobel Prize. Oh, he didn’t say that? South Korean President Moon Jae-in said it? Shit, they all look-alike. Crooked Hillary couldn’t have stopped the Korean war. I know there isn’t a war now but there used to be. Haven’t you ever watched M.A.S.H.?
Yup, I just don’t get enough credit for beating Crooked Hillary. Think about it, what would me and Sean Hannity have to talk about if I hadn’t beat her? What would all you Republicans have to run on if I hadn’t beat her? You’re welcome. Now, let me show you my victory map.