Help wanted!

Help wanted

The White House is holding a Job Fair this Friday. Hold on, let me back-up. The White House is holding a CONSERVATIVE Job Fair this Friday. No really, I guess that is a thing. The flyer that is being emailed blasted to every nook and cranny in Washington, I didn’t get one, states that “There are positions currently open and we are looking for competent conservatives to recommend”.

“There are positions currently open” might just be the understatement of the century. Think Trump had trouble finding a lawyer that was willing to take his money and represent him. Well multiple that by 10,000 and you begin to understand how difficult it has been for this administration to fill even the most minimal of jobs let alone keep the ones that they have filled.

The flyer lists jobs open in the White House, Defense, Interior, Commerce, Homeland Security, Health & Human Services, NASA, Energy, and Treasury. Whats left? Yea, I think that list covers most of the bases. It didn’t list Communications specifically, maybe that is included in the White House, because the rumor mill has both Press Secretary Sarah Sanders and Deputy Press Secretary Raj Shah heading for the exits soon.

But here is my question, how do you qualify as a competent conservative? Is there an identification card for that? A written test? A blood test? Will your DNA confirm that you are a competent conservative? Your religion? Maybe your skin color? Can you be a competent conservative if you are a black, Muslim, female? Would they question you? Would they ask, how can you be one of us? What proof are they looking for? What proof would they accept? An NRA membership card maybe? The King James version of the Bible you were given on the day you were baptized in the Southern Baptist Church? If this sounds like a bad idea it is but desperate times call for desperate measures.

You see, this is the kind of dumb ass shit that confirms for me that the orange butt-hole pretending to be a “President”, the same moron who salutes a North Korean General rather than shaking his extended hand, doesn’t know where he has been, where he is going or how to get there. This administration has been scrambling since day one. Why? Because all Trump can do, the only job he is good at is starting fires so really what they need to do is hire firemen, lots and lots of firemen. Obviously men, white men, Christian men, not to good-looking, shorter than Trump, with little, tiny hands.

 

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About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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11 Responses to Help wanted!

  1. Nan says:

    This. Is. Hilarious.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You made me smile, my friend. Remember when conservative and liberal used to be good things? Just a different way of looking at politics?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Suze says:

    it is illegal for a government office to advertise and hire people of specific political bias or affiliation. They can also not hire based on religion, creed, sex, orientation or race. good luck with the lawsuits Mr President! lol

    Liked by 2 people

  4. When they tee it up for you, you HAVE to hit it.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. There are very few competent conservatives around – just take a look at congress.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Competent Conservative: the new oxymoron. Emphasis on moron.

    Liked by 1 person

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