In 1867, United States Secretary of State William H. Seward negotiated the purchase of Alaska from the Russians for $7.2 million. Next week Trump will be meeting with his idol, his mentor, his BFF, the man who bankrolled his election, the dictator, the killer who has the dirt on Trump and the tapes to prove it, Vladimir Putin and they will be meeting with just translators, no staff. No one with an official capacity will be in the room with them. Just The Donald, The Puppet Master and two low-level translators.
Here is what I think Donald “The Art of the Deal” Trump is willing to do for the man he owes so much of his recent success to, give Alaska back to the Russians. That’s right, remember that you heard it here first. Donald J. Trump will give Alaska back to Russia next week. Shit it is the least he can do for the BILLIONS of loans and MILLIONS of condo sales Putin has arranged for Trump International. Think of it as the down payment Trump pays to keep us from having to watch the Pee Tape on 60 Minutes. I don’t know about you but that is one cinematic debut I could go the rest of my life without seeing.
Sure Alaska voted for Trump. Hell he won 51% of the state. But they only have 3 electoral votes. He still would have won without them. And besides, who lives there? Are there any white people up there other than Sarah Palin? And do they even have a golf course? It’s so close to Canada and Trump hates Canada, well no, Trump hates Prime minister Justin Trudeau’s hair but he thinks Trudeau’s wife is hot. A little old for him, but he would still move “on her like a bitch”. Anyway, all you Alaskans start brushing up on your Russian (let me hear you say Трамп сосет) because that is what “your” President is going to do next week. I mean come on, it’s just snow, moose, mosquitoes and shit. It’s not like its Hawaii or anything.
“I discovered, for the first time but not the last, that politicians don’t care too much what things cost. It’s not their money.” – Donald J. Trump,