“He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool. I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f***ed by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart. It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”- Stormy Daniels describing her sexual encounter with Trump
I will admit that I was unfamiliar with the video game character Mario Kart. I know this will show my age, but I am from the Pac-Man generation rather than Super Mario. And I suspect, given that Mario Kart was the eight most searched term today on Google, that most Deplorables, including Trump himself, had no idea what Mario Kart was either.
I have this image of Trump Googling Mario Kart and standing naked in front of a mirror and…..okay, your right that’s enough. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, rainbows and kittens. Anyway, I bet he did and I bet he did it proudly!
But here is the thing, think about this for a moment, the President of the United States, that orange guy with the cotton candy hair, watching Fox News in the people’s house in Washington has a woman telling us that his penis looks like a video game character. How far have we fallen? Pretty damn far.
If I were the Prime Minister of Canada, the Chancellor of Germany or even the President of the People’s Republic of China I honestly couldn’t look at Trump with a straight face ever again. This is what I used to see which was hard enough to look at without giggling;
And this is what I would see now;
Admit it, if he didn’t have “President” in front of his name no one would take this creepy piece of shit seriously but sadly because he has the nuclear codes we have too. Because we have a spineless GOP we have too. And because we know he is willing to strike a match and burn everything down to the ground just to save his own orange ass, we have too.
Right now Trumps legacy is air and water pollution, lawsuits upon lawsuits, Russians, tax cuts for the rich, defense of men who abuse women, payoffs, corruption, lies, tweets and a dick that looks like a Super Mario character. Think we can’t fall much further? Right! You better grab hold of something (not your Mario Kart) because it is going to be a bumpy ride from now until November 2020.