“You might be a redneck if the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.”
“A minor child deserves privacy and should be kept out of politics. Pamela Karlan, you should be ashamed of your very angry and obviously biased public pandering, and using a child to do it.” – Melania Trump tweet 12-4-19
“So ridiculous. Greta must work on her Anger Management problem, then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Greta, Chill!” – Trump tweet attacking 16 year old (a minor child) Greta Thunberg after being named Time’s “Person of the Year” 12-12-19
Having spent all of my sheltered years living in the South I have often wondered “do rednecks exist in other geographic regions of the United States?” Well fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your point of view and how many teeth you have left in your mouth, I have learned that yes rednecks are not simply confined to the South.
Rednecks, as a sub-set of the human race are defined as working-class white person, especially a politically reactionary one from a rural area. I have, in my 59 years on this planet, met and interacted with thousands upon thousands of rednecks. Hell, I am probably related to several hundred of them and can think of at least 50, just off the top of my head that words like uncles, aunts, and cousins apply.
The world has changed though and the definition of redneck has changed along with it. As Trump has demonstrated rednecks no longer have to be working-class or from a rural area. But the one defining characteristic of a redneck that hasn’t changed is the word white. Rednecks are still white and rednecks are also still politically reactionary. Honestly rednecks are just opinionated pieces of shit. Sounds like they have found their lord and savior in Trump doesn’t it?
I have watched and read some of the interviews with Trump supporters at his ego rally in Hershey, Pennsylvania this past Tuesday. These “charming” idiots thoroughly answered my question as to whether rednecks exist in other geographic regions of the United States. And after hearing snippets of Trumps unhinged rant at this rally it also confirmed something I had believed, Trump thinks he is a redneck too albeit one with a golden shitter. Honestly the real give away should have been when Trump feed my beloved Clemson Tigers football team a banquet of Burger King, Taco Bell and Kentucky Fried Chicken for their visit to the White House. But I digress.
One of the traits I know about rednecks is, like dogs, they travel in packs. Don’t believe me, go to a NASCAR race. And like dogs rednecks will piss and shit on anything and everything. Hell they love to roll around in a big old pile of shit. But there are a few things sacred to rednecks; momma, cheap beer and smokes, Dale Earnhardt and Jesus on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights everything else is fair game to make fun of, bully, even tear-down and destroy.
Trumps tweet today attacking Greta Thunberg proves that he thinks he is a redneck. Certainly it proves that he thinks he is their self-appointed King. His “wife”, the most invisible First Lady we have experienced in a long, long time, broke her twitter silence to chastise Pamela Karlan for uttering the name of her “minor child” (just hers, not Donald’s). And let’s not forget Melania’s Be Best initiative whose mission is to: focus on some of the major issues facing children today, with the goal of encouraging children to BE BEST in their individual paths, while also teaching them the importance of social, emotional, and physical health. BE BEST will concentrate on three main pillars: well-being, online safety, and opioid abuse.
I guess allowing a 73 year old man who happens to be the President and her husband bully (online safety) a 16 year old girl (minor child) falls just outside the lines of Melanija Knavs Trump’s Be Best purview but certainly well within the redneck creed. Yea believe it or not there is one; I am proud to be an American and affirm that the United States of America is one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all…..and for just $49.95 you too can get a personalized ID card, bumper sticker, t-shirt and solo cup identifying you as a Redneck. Or you can just buy one of those MAGA red baseball caps made in China. Same difference.
“You might be a redneck if there are more than five McDonald’s bags in your car.”