Wouldn’t know Jesus if he bit you in the ass

“Jesus was my son.  Buddha was my son.  Muhammad, Moses, you, the man who said there was no room at the inn was my son.” –  George Burns as God in Oh, God! 

It’s Christmas, a time that as Benjamin Franklin noted “many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, His precepts!” For those of you that have followed my writings before I became obsessed with pointing out all the moronic attributes of our 45^th President you know that I fancy myself a dime store theologian. I have been fascinated with religion for 40 years, less the overall principles, all though I do attempt to live by a few of them, but more the origins particularly how a specific religion began and how it got to where it is today.

I don’t know if you have noticed but over the last three to five years there has been a dramatic rise in crimes against people of the Jewish faith not just in the United States but in Europe as well. This surge in anti-Semitism has occurred while Evangelical Christians have increased their efforts, at the expense of the Muslim world, to secure, protect and promote Israel as an exclusive Jewish nation.

Now if this dynamic seems odd or if you have asked yourself why Evangelicals have spent so much of their political capital and money making sure Israel is the Jewish homeland the reason has nothing to do with the Evangelicals love for Jews and everything to do with the differences between them. Jews don’t believe Jesus is the Messiah. Their list of reasons why is pretty compelling and the ultimate need for Israel sits in the center of their differences.

Jews believe that when the Messiah arrives (not returns) he will;

1. Build the Third Temple
2. Gather all Jews back to Israel
3. Usher in an era of world peace, ending all hatred, oppression, suffering and disease
4. Spread universal knowledge of the God of Israel, which will unite humanity as one

Jews believe that the Messiah will fulfill these prophecies outright while Christian’s believe that Jesus will make them happen with His second coming (return). Jews point out that the Hebrew Bible has no concept or acknowledgement of a second coming but they both agree Israel is important, just for different reasons.

As the list above notes, Jews believe that the arrival of the Messiah will bring all the children of Israel home. Christians, particularly Evangelicals, believe that the second coming will only happen in Israel, basically if the collective “we” doesn’t control Israel there will be no return. I personally find it hard to believe that Jesus would have just one “landing spot”. In my way of thinking He could reappear anywhere He chose to bring about the kind of change Christians all over the world have been waiting 2,500 years for.

But if you think about it, for Evangelicals, zeroing in on Israel takes away all of the guessing game for them. What if Jesus landed in Times Square, at the corner of 7^th Avenue and West 46^th Street right in front of the TGI Friday’s. Would Franklin Graham really believe it was Him? Would Jerry Falwell, Jr. drop to his knees and kiss His feet? Would Joel Osteen give-up his airplane, his mansions, and empty his bank account of $60 million to follow Him down 7^th Avenue? No. That is why Israel is so convenient for them and why it is important. It has nothing to do with the Jews and everything to do with the validation that until He lands in Israel Evangelicals will continue to get rich and fat waiting for Him.

Me, I am hoping Jesus reappears at the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas where these Neanderthals preach; “That the Jews are directly and primarily responsible for the death of our dear Lord Jesus, there can be no reasonable doubt. Get it straight, Mr. Jew! You are going to bow the knee to Jesus Christ, accept Him and worship Him as the only begotten Son of the living God; or you will split Hell wide open when you die. It is the job of Westboro Baptist Church to tell you the truth – the Lord has called us and empowered us to do that job – and we intend to do that job whether you Jews in Brooklyn or anywhere else like it or not. Don’t you understand what we are telling you? You are going to Hell – every last one of you – unless you bow your arrogant Jewish knee and kiss the feet of the Lord Jesus Christ.” 

Chanukah sameach and Merry Christmas.

“Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man … living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.” – George Carlin