Any Functioning Adult 2020

Any Functioning Adult

Michael Bennet, Joe Biden, Michael Bloomberg, Pete Buttigieg, Amy Klobuchar, Deval Patrick, Bernie Sanders, Tom Steyer, Elizabeth Warren, and Andrew Yang are the ten Democratic candidates vying for their party’s nomination to be President of the United States (yes I know there are 11 but I agree with Hillary, something just ain’t right about Tulsi Gabbard).

Here is what I know about these ten individuals, they are all Functioning Adults every single one of them. You may not agree with everything they stand for. You may think some are too liberal and others aren’t liberal enough. You may think some of them are too old, too female, too gay, hell too ugly. But I can guarantee you this, all ten of these candidates, are sane, rational, coherent, mature, and fully functioning adults. All the things Donald Trump isn’t and never will be.

I have an Any Functioning Adult 2020 bumper sticker on my car. I have an Any Functioning Adult 2020 t-shirt and the matching baseball cap that I wear everywhere I go. I do this for one reason and one reason only, I want people in my community to understand that this old, fat, white guy (me) does not support the tangerine clown temporarily housed in Washington and that it is okay, and safe, to disagree with all the MAGA red hat wearing, confederate flag waving, rednecks that do.

My wife and I went to one of those home renovation shows recently. You the know kind, where siding, gutter and window companies have booths along with bathroom and kitchen remodelers. I figured this would be the perfect venue to wear my Any Functioning Adult 2020 t-shirt. Plenty of good-old-boy contractor types, and retired rednecks with nothing better to do on a rainy Saturday than to eat corn dogs and funnel-cakes while momma walked around and looked at all the fancy kitchen stuff they couldn’t afford for their double-wide.

My wife, ever the sensible peacemaker, wanted to know if I was sure I wanted to wear that t-shirt to THIS event. Me, ever the smartass, assured her that it was clean and didn’t smell and that I would tuck it in if that would make her feel better. Headed up the walk to the convention center, as if right on cue, two old farts in MAGA hats walked by me and snarled. Damn I thought, I am already two for two and I haven’t even gotten inside yet. But when we did get inside, I was really caught off guard, not by the sneers and the snarls which I got plenty of, but by the love.

Walking down the aisles, past the gutter salesmen who promised leaves would NEVER clog your gutters again and the pool salesmen trying to convince everyone that for 120 easy payments of just $150 a month you too could have luxury in your own backyard, were people giving me thumbs-up. People asking me to take a selfie with them. And some just thanking me, I guess for being an old, fat, white guy who didn’t support the Clown-in-Chief. I must admit it was remarkable and certainly made me feel less alone, at least briefly.

But here is thing, I am realistic, my community is but a mere speck in the sea of redneck that washes over South Carolina. I know that my Any Functioning Adult 2020 t-shirt and hat wouldn’t “play well” in Orangeburg, or Manning, or in Lindsey Graham’s hometown of Seneca. And that the Bubba’s in Florence, or Kingstree or Gaffney would more than likely peel the sticker off the back glass of my car with a rock or brick rather than their fingers. I get it. I understand.

But despite all the Trumpers we see or think we see. Despite all the selective polling Trump tweets out telling his base that he is kicking everyone’s ass, the truth is he isn’t, not even close. Honestly, today, he is getting his ass kicked by at least five of the ten Democratic candidates. What Team Trump is attempting to do is convince us that trying to beat him is futile, and that all our efforts are simply a waste of time. He wants us to remember that he beat Hillary, the Mueller Report, even impeachment though he was impeached. Trump wants us to feel helpless, hopeless, and defeated. Please don’t. Please don’t give him what he wants. Not voting, giving-up is the only way he can win. If people vote Trump can be beat. If people vote Trump will be beat, but we must get out and vote.

In 2016, despite winning the popular election, people didn’t get out and vote for Hillary because they didn’t like her. They decided they didn’t like either of the choices so they stayed home and let chips fall where they may. How did that turn out for us? Elect a clown expect a circus. Trump proves every day that he is mentally ill and unfit to be the President of the United States. There is no doubt in mind that he is NOT and never will be a functioning adult. He is where he is because of us. It is our fault, plain and simple, for not voting when we had the chance. He won because we gave-up. We can’t ever let that happen again.

Any of ten Democratic candidates, on their worse day, would be a better President than Trump. And for those of you that couldn’t hold your nose and vote for Hillary in 2016 you now know that you made the wrong decision, and the worse decision possible. America deserves a Functioning Adult. It really isn’t too much to ask for the most important job we have.

About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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13 Responses to Any Functioning Adult 2020

  1. Where can I get this t-shirt and sticker?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. SR says:

    You are brave, sir. I salute you.

    I had an Obama sticker on my car. On the freeway, a huge pickup truck pulled alongside. The driver and his two little boys were yelling insults and flipping me off.

    At first, I couldn’t understand what was going on. Had I accidentally cut him off or changed lanes too closely? Then it dawned on my that this was a political commentary.

    I thought it was stunning that this man would teach his children to behave so rudely and disrespectfully. But now these vile people have actually taken control of our country. This man behaved the way my neighbors behave.

    I wish I had the courage you have. I live alone. I am afraid that broadcasting my political views here could lead to some nut hurting my pets or burning down my house. I don’t want to come out of the grocery store to find flat tires or huge scratches on my car. It is who these people are. It’s how they live. Terrifying.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I completely understand. I have been flipped off, cussed at, had a McDonalds drink thrown at me, cigarettes flicked my way, and had seven guys (all pick-up trucks mind you, two on the highway going 70 mph) try to run me off the road. Protect yourself first. Just know dumbassess like me are fighting the fight for you.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So does this mean that Mickey Mouse is not a contender? Seriously, I agree. The trump world is trying to paint a losing cause for Dems – just ain’t true.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Some of the Bubbas might even peel the shirt off your back with a brick. I seem to recall that one of Trump’s “fine people … on both sides” committed vehicular homicide.

    Last night, at his rally, Herr Trump hinted that his supporters might consider taking advantage of New Hampshire’s “pick your primary” approach (which is shared bu my state, Massachusetts) and vote for the Democrat he can most easily beat. Maybe Tulsi will have a good showing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. SR says:

    Thank you. You should add “Champion of Decency” to your bio.

    I agree that all of the Democratic candidates could perform successfully as President. I am no persuaded that all can win a general election.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. maryplumbago says:

    My worry is the Bernie folks who won’t vote if it’s not him…I see this a good bit in comments on Facebook. That’s so stupid…might as well just vote for trump.

    I’m in Fla and surrounded by lots of trumpers and rednecks and ultra religious folks…all buying into the lies and corruption and many don’t care about that at all. They just want their racist buddy to win.

    I swear I’d move to New England if it was t so damn cold. I’m so weary of stupid people!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Sarada Gray says:

    We have our own clown here and the circus of Brexit and instead of MAGA, Leave Means Leave and Union Jacks.

    Liked by 1 person

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