Stupid Is As Stupid Does


Back when Donald was just candidate Trump, I was doing some contract work for a local developer. The developer was trying a assemble some smaller properties to put them together to make one big property. He hired me to track down the owners, make offers, close on the properties and then get them cleaned-up. Several of the properties had remnants of a house or other out-buildings on them.

I hired a good ole boy, Chad, from the northern part of the county, an area we call the “Dark Corner”, to come tear down, clean-up and haul off the debris. What Chad was hired to do wasn’t rocket science. Basically all he needed to get the job done was a hammer, a crowbar, a pair of gloves, a pick-up truck, a strong back and enough sense not to get bit by a snake or stuck by a nail.

One hot day I brought Chad and whoever he happened to find to help him a cooler full of ice-cold Gatorade. Every day Chad asked me the same question, “You got my money?” Yes Chad, I always answered. “Well why don’t you just give it to me now then you ain’t got to come back”.  I don’t mind coming back is what I told him.

Chad saw the Hillary sticker on the back of my car. “If you don’t mind me asking, why you voting for that bitch?” Who are you voting for, Trump I asked? “Damn right!”

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you voting for that blowhard piece of shit?”

“Cause fucking Trump tells it like is. He don’t give a shit what nobody thinks.”

As you can tell this was a riveting, and deeply profound political conversation.

Our world is filled with Chad’s and we need them. Chad’s do the work that folks like me don’t want to do. They keep Budweiser, Pork Rind manufactures, NASCAR and Tattoo Parlors in business. Not so much Dentist or Deodorant companies, but without Chad’s our economy would come to screeching halt. Chad’s are not intellectual giants they are simple minded folks and their pleasures are simple minded as well.

Chad’s don’t read books or have existential thoughts. If they aren’t working, they are smoking and drinking, and if they aren’t smoking and drinking, they are screwing, or thinking about screwing, or talking about screwing. Is it any wonder that the Chad’s of the world love Donald Trump? Hell, I get it.

What Chad see’s in Donald Trump is a fancy piece of white trash that wears expensive suits and has a hot wife with fake tits. Honestly that is all Trump really is, white trash in a fancy box with a red ribbon. The differences between Chad and Trump are few except for one big one, Trump’s Daddy had money. Chad’s Daddy got Chad’s Mom knocked-up, probably in high school. Trump is where he is, and who he is because of Fred Trump. Simply stated, he is a member of the lucky sperm club. If Fred had been Chad’s Daddy, hell he might have been President. And if Donald had been the by product of Chad’s Mom getting knocked-up by Chad’s Daddy, Donald would have been the redneck with tattoos on his neck cleaning-up our properties asking, “You got my money?”

I understand why the Chad’s of the world love Trump. Those simple creatures that take great pride and joy in filling the cab of their truck up with the smell of a noxious fart that makes their girlfriend squeal. They don’t view Trump as an equal but as their protector. Trump encourages them to be rednecks, to be antisocial, to be racist, to be white trash. He doesn’t care if they smoke, or drink or get “fucked-up” or chase ass. In three years how much concern have we heard from Trump about our health, or drug use? Little to none.

Trump’s attitude about himself is very simple to figure out, I am rich, I am smart, leave me the fuck alone and do what I say. Chad’s feel the same way about themselves. They may not have cash wealth but they are rich in the things that make them happy. We may not consider them smart but they are clever enough to survive and Chad’s have survived in this country for 250 years. But most of all Chad’s want all of us to leave them the fuck alone, just like Donald. They don’t want us all up in their business. They don’t want you, or me, or the government telling them what they can or can not do.

When I asked Chad who he was voting for I already knew the answer. I also knew that Chad doesn’t vote. Hell, Chad has probably never voted in his life. But make no mistake about it if he did vote, if he could vote, Trump is his man despite the fact that Donald has made Chad’s meager existence harder to maintain and certainly harder to be proud of.

About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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6 Responses to Stupid Is As Stupid Does

  1. maryplumbago says:

    This is fabulous. Excellent writing and oh so true! You have nailed it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nan says:

    Chad has many names.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. topdog41 says:

    I get why the Chad’s of this world love the career criminal sitting in the Oval Office. What I don’t get is the otherwise intelligent people who think Trump is awesome. The Fox News network is littered with them. These people know he is a pathological liar and wallow in it, and yet, they would beat the hell out of their kids if they acted the same way. We will lose our constitutional republic if he is re-elected; indeed, we will be kissing the king’s ass to even get an audience. There will be a minimum wage job in every household, and two Russians in every garage.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The bright side of the Chads in the USA – they make average guys like me feel like Einstein.😎God bless Chad and all the shit-for-brains like him.

    Liked by 1 person

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