Tucker Carlson is a whore

I am 60 years old. My wife will soon be 59. If we are home at 6:30 pm we watch the NBC Nightly News anchored by Lester Holt. If we are home on Sunday nights at 7 pm we watch 60 Minutes on CBS. We also typically watch the NBC and CBS Saturday and Sunday morning news programs if we are around.

What we realized many years ago, based on the type of products advertised on these programs, is that a lot of old people with various health issues must be the primary viewers. I guess, to some degree, I fall into that category, old with various and sundry health issues.

My first jobs out of college was selling radio and television advertising. The radio station I worked for was the only rock station in the market with a target audience of men 18-34. Depending on the quarter we were either number one or number two in this category competing with a country station. I learned a lot about demographics in radio and it helped that I was selling a product that I listened to and understood the buying patterns for because I was a man 18-34.

Men 18-34 don’t buy towels or sheets or furniture. They don’t go to tanning salons, or get their hair or nails done. They don’t care about stoves or refrigerators. They buy cars, beer, and fast food. They go to nightclubs, gyms and fish and hunt while drinking beer and eating fast food.

As the new kid on the block at the radio station I didn’t have an account list, so I had to cold call new prospects and I got a lot of doors slammed in my face because men 18-34 buy cars, beer, and fast food and all those businesses were taken by other sales reps in my office. Eventually, as people left, I moved-up the food chain and got a car dealer, a beer distributor, a fast-food restaurant, and a commission check at the end of the month.

I don’t watch Fox News and I wouldn’t pee on Tucker Carlson or Sean Hannity if they were on fire. I am deeply offended by both men, particularly Carlson who claims to be a fan of the Grateful Dead. As a longtime, loyal Deadhead I find that very insulting.

Supposedly Carlson’s program is one of the highest rated primetime “news” shows around which made me wonder, who is watching this piece of shit? To answer this question, I looked at what companies were advertising on his “entertainment” (which is the way Fox classifies it) show to gauge the age and IQ of his audience.

1.       My Pillow– Batshit crazy Mike Lindell. Enough said.

2.       Balance of Nature– Snake oil vitamin supplements.

3.       Qunol– Snake oil vitamin supplements.

4.       Relief Factor– Snake oil pain relief.

5.       Rejuvenate Muscle Health– Snake oil aging supplements.

6.       Pure TalkUSA– discount cell phones for old and poor people (I apologize if you have one).

Now based on this short list of advertisers I would assume the majority of Carlson’s viewers are older, education deprived, and like sleeping on cheap ass, lumpy pillows. We know going in that they are overwhelmingly white, Republican, unvaccinated, and believe that Donald J. Frump is still the president because the election was stolen from him. Here is the way I look at it, if the election was stolen from him in 2020, we just stole it back from 2016.

Supposedly Fox pays Carlson $6 million dollars a year. Maybe those six advertisers spend $1 million dollars apiece. That seems like a lot of money to spend for a couple of these companies but when you are trying to get stupid people to buy a product with no proven results described by one reviewer as “taste nasty” then this might be the perfect place to spend $1 million dollars.

There is little doubt that Carlson and Hannity will ride the Frump carnival ride as long as they can. Appealing to stupid ass white people pays both of them millions. And when Frump is dead and gone and the only thing left of him is the glow of his radioactive spray tan what will they do? They will invent something else to be outraged about. The Carlson and Hannity circus will last as long as these old white people are still showing up for the endless buffet at the Golden Corral at 4:30 pm. It will last until they all die of COVID, lung cancer, Cirrhosis of the liver or diabetes and based on the MAGA zealots I see in my neck of the woods they have about three to five years.    

About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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5 Responses to Tucker Carlson is a whore

  1. Nan says:

    Well, I’m one of those “old white people,” but I can thoroughly and completely guarantee you that I’m NOT — repeat, NOT — a fan of ANYONE that appears on Faux News.

    (Also, I’ve never been to the Golden Corral.)

    P.S. Just between you and me and the gate post, my other-half actually got suckered into buying a pillow from you-know-who. *sigh*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. maryplumbago says:

    There is one thing that has puzzled me. All these old farts, of which I’m one at 74, were at one time from the era of the 60s and early 70s, when social justice, equal rights, women’s rights, the beginning LGBTQ acceptance, anti war sentiments, early environmental awareness, drugs, sex and the best music ever, were behind the big positive changes in our society.
    What the hell happened ?

    Now many of these people are trumpers and angry old white men who had the best of everything, but are now glued to Fox News or worse.

    Just saw where Eric Clapton wouldn’t perform if the audience was required to show proof of vaccine!

    Liked by 2 people

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