Trump has run Jesus out of America

Prophet Trump

“Let me tell you. If Jesus Christ gets down off the cross and told me Trump is with Russia, I would tell him, hold on a second, I need to check with the president if it is true. That is how confident I feel in the president.” – Trump supporter Mark Lee

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“When I drink my little wine — which is about the only wine I drink — and have my little cracker, I guess that is a form of asking for forgiveness, and I do that as often as possible because I feel cleansed.” – Donald Trump

“I’m reluctant to comment on another person’s faith, but I would say it is hard to look at this president’s actions and believe that they’re the actions of somebody who believes in God. I just don’t understand how you can be as worshipful of your own self as he is and be prepared to humble yourself before God. I’ve never seen him humble himself before anyone.” – Pete Buttigieg

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A Trump stained racing stripe on the whitey tighties of America

Drump is;

1) “A billionaire” but you can’t see his taxes.

2) “A genius” but you can’t see his grades.

3) “Completely exonerated” but you can’t see the report.

Does this whole Mueller Report thing feel like a cover-up? Seriously? Do you even have to ask? The honest truth is Tonald Drump has been covering shit up from day one. Hell, Drump has been burying bodies, ruining lives, grabbing body parts, cheating on wives, not paying plumbers, electricians, banks, but making sure porn stars and Playboy Bunnies get a check for his entire life. The majority of Americans, hell most of the world can see right through his orange hue and cotton candy hair for what he really is, a sleazy piece of shit (I was going to say dog shit but why offend dogs).

Remember this is THE GUY who claims that the Robert Mueller report, the one he has never read “I have not read the Mueller Report yet, even though I have every right to do so” provides him with “Complete and Total EXONERATION.” But we can’t see it. No one other than his handpicked Attorney General can see it. And we, the American people, are supposed to be okay with that. Why? Ask your Republican Senator that question and see what funny answer you get back. National security my ass.

Let me try a little logic here, if you were charged with a crime, pick one, littering, bank robbery, murder, and you had an alibi, a get out of jail free card in the form of a 22 month-long investigation that produced a 400 page report, a report that you have told the WORLD completely and totally exonerates you why wouldn’t you share it? Why wouldn’t you want everyone to see? Because what Drump really has is a four page memo, not even a summary, which is basically no better than a note from his Mother that says “Donny is a good boy. There is no way he could have done all of those horrible things but if he did, and I am not saying he did, he certainly didn’t mean too.”

Does this sound like a guy who has the evidence to prove his innocence; “The Democrats will never be satisfied, no matter what they get, how much they get, or how many pages they get. It will never end, but that’s the way life goes!” No. This sounds like a guy trying to dig the deepest, widest hole he can as fast as he can. And sadly, his Attorney General gave him a head start.

The EXTRA hard stance Drump is taking at the Mexican border and the heads he is chopping off at the Department of Homeland Security are for one reason only, to temper the bad news with his base (like they care) and the GOP (like they care) that will eventually leak from the Mueller Report. Drump and his base love the visual of brown children, separated from their Mothers and Fathers confined to cages. And they can justify these racist and cruel actions because the Bible says it is okay, somewhere. Maybe in Obadiah or Haggai.

Look the Drump shit show is moving at warp speed right now leaving the widest and longest racing stripe on his and America’s XXXL whitey tighties the world has ever seen. No amount of Clorox will clean this stain. But the one thing this shit show will never be able to do is out run the truth or history. This babbling idiot is so confused right now he thinks his father was born in Germany. He wasn’t. Maybe Drump has him mixed-up with Adolf Hitler.

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It ain’t the fat lady singing, it’s just Lindsey Graham

“….while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.” – One sentence from William Barr’s oh so brief and somewhat “slanted” four page summation of Robert Mueller’s 22-month investigation.

And how the Big D (for Dumbass) heard it: “No Collusion, No Obstruction, Complete and Total EXONERATION. KEEP AMERICA GREAT!”

Look, if any of you were expecting the Mueller Report to be a “Go directly to jail; do not pass go, do not collect $200” card for Drump I understand why you are disappointed. Robert Mueller never had the power, or the authority to put the orange wonder in a matching jumpsuit. But what he was directed to do was to create a road-map, GPS coordinates if you will, about all the sleazy shit Drump and his band of merry men were involved in. I am confident he and his staff have accomplished that. Now the hard part for all of us to stomach, the cover-up, the spin, the waiting, again.

I understand you are anxious, probably even concerned that the Great Pumpkin is “going to get away with it” among the multitude of “it’s” he is most likely guilty of, he won’t and he isn’t. Will it happen as fast as we would like? No, never was going too, never will. Remember, despite the fact that Drump acts like a 10-year-old fat kid holding the world hostage for the Twinkie our Mom put in our lunch bag he is still the “President” and as Nixon proved 45 years ago the process and procedures we have in place to remove our self-proclaimed “Kings” grinds slow.

So what can we expect from the Dumbass-in-Chief for how ever long he has left in office? More golf, more ego rallies, more executive time, more lies, more spin, more tweets like “Wow, ratings for “Morning Joe,” which were really bad in the first place, just “tanked” with the release of the Mueller Report. Likewise, other shows on MSNBC and CNN have gone down by as much as 50%. Just shows, Fake News never wins!” and “Congressman Adam Schiff, who spent two years knowingly and unlawfully lying and leaking, should be forced to resign from Congress!” and no accomplishments that unify our country, accomplishments for the greater good rather than just for him, his family and the members of Mar-a-Lago.

Stay tuned. There is still so much more to come and remember that ain’t the fat lady you hear singing, it’s just Lindsey Graham.

 

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CRA-CRA!

Trump McCain

“George Conway, often referred to as Mr. Kellyanne Conway by those who know him, is VERY jealous of his wife’s success & angry that I, with her help, didn’t give him the job he so desperately wanted. I barely know him but just take a look, a stone cold LOSER & husband from hell!” – Drump tweet 3-20-19

Look the vast majority of Americans know, even the rich, white, Americans that are happy (thanks again Obama) about their 401-K’s, that Tonald J. Drump is a small, petty, 10 year old bully that lacks a sense of humor, or a clue for that matter. The vast majority of Americans also know that Tonald J. Drump is, as my daughters used to say CRA-CRA (that would be crazy for the unhip).

Since early last week, through the weekend and even today The Drump has been on a twitter rampage picking fights with anything and everyone, dead, alive, or inanimate that he believes has offended HIM including a recent re-run of Saturday Night Live. I am not sure if he got mad at it the first time or not. His short, fat, orange fingers have been busy defending his “honor”, his motives, his money, his smarts, hell maybe even his hair but definitely his Greatness, yes definitely his Greatness which only he, a few million toothless hillbillies, and sanctimonious Evangelicals can truly define.

But what is truly concerning to me though is how “some” and I do mean some, not all, otherwise smart, rational, educated, worldly, religious, patriotic, men and women who make up the GOP Senate and Congress can sit idly by as this buffoon attempts to scorch the earth, right the perceived slights, bully, and shame his “enemies” like a 12 year old girl who just read on Facebook that someone called her ugly and fat and on top of all that continues to desecrate a great American hero in John McCain, who by the way, has been dead for seven months. Yes the ghost of John McCain is still living rent free, with ample elbow room I might add, in the head of one Tonald J. Drump.

I dropped my Senator, the spineless and apparently compromised Ms. Lindsey Graham an email yesterday and reminded her that John McCain was not only her friend but also her mentor. I also noted, as I have on several occasions, that history will remember and judge her enabling silence of Drump’s antics. That we, and future generations will recall that this dark period in American history happened on her watch and she did absolutely nothing about it.

There has been widespread speculation in the press that Tonald Drump’s almost week long Twitter Tantrum, hissy fit, meltdown, has to do with just how close to home (read wallet) the Special Counsel’s investigation is getting. Deutsche Bank is apparently spilling its guts (wait Drump isn’t really a Billionaire?) to save what ASSets it has left that Putin doesn’t already control. The other speculation for Drump’s frenzy is that he has finally figured out (what a stable genius he is) that Bob Mueller has planted and scattered landmines (sealed indictments) all along the future path that Drump and his crime family will have to trend once they no longer have the “cover” of the Presidential seal to protect their sorry asses. You think Drump is motivated to win a reelection? You damn right he is and not because he gives a rats ass about Betty and Chuck Deplorable down in Naples, FL. The only ass Drump is worried about his XXL orange one and four more years of Presidential coverage is just what his ASSets need at this point.

And if you haven’t been playing along we have recently seen an uptick in Drump the Lesser (that would be Tonald J. Drump, Jr.) bravado lately even offering foreign policy advice to the U.K., don’t take it, and stoking the Coup d’état flames of QAnon Nation by offering Twitter confirmation and coverage for Drump patsy #2, flunky #1 Devin Nunes is busy suing imaginary Twitter cows for $250 million, the pride of North Carolina, Rep. Mark “I know lots of black people” Meadows.

Yes patriots it is getting exciting and honestly kind of fun watching this weak piece of orange shit wiggle and squirm because what you are really reading on Twitter from The Tonald is not bravery, or greatness, or toughness but fear, and panic. A spoiled, weak bully who is scared shitless as he should be.

As an aside, I have noticed a staggering decline in the amount of shit talking I used to hear from my Fox News watching “friends”, neighbors and relatives. Maybe they are beginning to look beyond today and through the eyes of their children and realized “We are really fucking shit-up for them.” Or maybe it has finally occurred to them that Tonald J. Drump really is CRA-CRA! Ya think?

“So it was indeed (just proven in court papers) “last in his class” (Annapolis) John McCain that sent the Fake Dossier to the FBI and Media hoping to have it printed BEFORE the Election. He & the Dems, working together, failed (as usual). Even the Fake News refused this garbage!” – Drump tweet 3-17-19

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If his lips are moving…….

MR TANGERINE MAN

“At a recent round table meeting of business executives, & long after formally introducing Tim Cook of Apple, I quickly referred to Tim + Apple as Tim/Apple as an easy way to save time & words. The Fake News was disparagingly all over this, & it became yet another bad Trump story!” – Trump tweet 3-11-19 

Look he said it. Resident Tonald Drump called Apple CEO Tim Cook “Tim Apple”. He did say it, we all saw it, and we all heard it. Shit we got the tape. Everybody has the tape. We even saw his daughter laugh about the gaffe when the words came out of his thin, pursed lips. Why is it a big deal? Because the lying sack of shit that 35% of you still call “Your President” has made it a big deal and continues to make it a big deal.

A large part of being a normal human being, which we all know Rump is not, is the ability to laugh at yourself, to not take yourself so seriously. I don’t know what that gene is but when Daddy Trump was giving Mommy Trump fifteen seconds of marital bliss cowboy style one short Sunday afternoon to create that orange wonder referred to as The Donald that chromosome didn’t make it to Mom’s ovary. Hell, for all we know Daddy Trump was missing that gene himself. I have only seen a picture of Big “I don’t rent to Blacks” Fred but that deduction makes perfect sense.

Do you remember when Rump was meeting with his handler, Vladimir Putin in Helsinki and Trump was asked who he believed Putin or his own intelligence community? Trump said, for all the world to see and hear “Putin” just as plain as day. Once again, we got the tape we all heard it, well everyone but Fox News viewers because they edited that part out. They really did.

Trump then spent the next week trying to convince us that we really didn’t hear what we thought we had heard. It was like a mirage for our ears, kind of like Tim Apple (“I said Tim Cook Apple really fast” he told Republican donors). Not quite an optical illusion but more like a hallucination, an apparition, a trick being played on our ears and eyes by the Fake News.

This really isn’t a big surprise to MOST of us that Trump lies, hell Trump lies a lot. It is a safe bet that if his lips are moving he is lying. There are websites that do nothing but track his lies, lies that he says, lies that he tweets. In just two years, that is 730 days for his Deplorable base, the Washington Post documented that Rump has made 8,158 false or misleading claims. That’s over 11 a day! To slow it down for Alabama Deplorable take 8,158 and divide it by 730. No, you can’t use your fingers and your toes to check my math but hey the guy that signed a check so he could pork porn star Stormy Daniels for 90 seconds signed your King James Version of the Holy Bible. Now there is something you can really be proud of.

I know that I am preaching to the choir here but I just needed to get this off my chest. Every day we find out something new about this fuck-up. Today it is a rub and tug Chinese massage parlor (go Patriots) selling access to Trump and tomorrow who knows. Pee tapes? Circus animals? Fake Melania’s? But it doesn’t matter to white Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida Deplorable because they love them some orange Rump (yea I meant for that to sound sexual). I just hope they are wearing protection. On second thought……….

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He Is a Racist, He Is a Con Man, and He Is a Cheat

Trump twitter rant this morning (remember March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb):

#1- “Wow, just revealed that Michael Cohen wrote a “love letter to Trump” manuscript for a new book that he was pushing. Written and submitted long after Charlottesville and Helsinki, his phony reasons for going rogue. Book is exact opposite of his fake testimony, which now is a lie!”

#2- “Congress must demand the transcript of Michael Cohen’s new book, given to publishers a short time ago. Your heads will spin when you see the lies, misrepresentations and contradictions against his Thursday testimony. Like a different person! He is totally discredited!”

#3- “Oh’ I see! Now that the 2 year Russian Collusion case has fallen apart, there was no Collusion except bye Crooked Hillary and the Democrats, they say, “gee, I have an idea, let’s look at Trump’s finances and every deal he has ever done. Let’s follow discredited Michael Cohen and the fraudulent and dishonest statements he made on Wednesday. No way, it’s time to stop this corrupt and illegally brought Witch Hunt. Time to start looking at the other side where real crimes were committed. Republicans have been abused long enough. Must end now!”

#4- “Michael Cohen’s book manuscript shows that he committed perjury on a scale not seen before. He must have forgotten about his book when he testified. What does Hillary Clinton’s lawyer, Lanny Davis, say about this one. Is he being paid by Crooked Hillary. Using her lawyer?”

You have probably heard the old saying “you don’t own a cat they own you” well that’s the way it is at my house. My wife’s old cat decided it was time to wake-up and get the day going at 4:30 am. Now, I am a pretty sound sleeper but I do find it difficult to sleep with a fur ball standing on my head and scratching the headboard. My wife swears “I didn’t hear her”…….right. So rather than staying in bed for two hours waiting for my alarm to buzz at 6:30 I jumped in the shower and headed for work.

On the way in I stopped by the QT for a sausage biscuit and diet coke. Sitting in my car listening to MSNBC and getting crumbs all over my shirt a very loud, old, piece of shit F-150 truck pulled in beside me and out jumped Mr. MAGA himself. Standing in front of me trying to get that last drag off of what would already be described as a cigarette butt was the poster child of a South Carolina Deplorable, white, male, 50 to 60 years old, camouflage t-shirt that needed another foot of material to cover his impressive beer belly and the crowning accessory, the iconic red MAGA baseball cap.

I watched Joe Sixpack flick his cigarette into the parking lot just as he passed the cigarette receptacle attached to the trash can, I guess that just looks a lot cooler, and walk inside. I thought about all of the Donald Trump news we are processing this week and there is a shit-load of it, the Cohen testimony, getting just a kiss but no tongue from Kim Jong Un, overruling the CIA, the FBI and the Secret Service in giving his son-in-law Jared top-secret security clearance and wondered, does Mr. F-150 care about any of this? It is a rhetorical question, of course he doesn’t.

Last night Sean Hannity, the entertainer, the pillow, gave The Donald and his base a soft place to land. Evoking the name of “Reagan”, the fallback position for any red-blooded, white, American conservative Hannity inferred to his throng of faithful’s that Trumps supposed “walk away” was very Reaganesque. Even my Senator, the illustrious Linda Graham felt the need to offer Trump a much-needed ego boast last night at the Conservative Political Action Conference stating;  “Speaking of Rocket Man, he couldn’t be here and if he doesn’t get a deal with Trump he won’t be anywhere much longer. The President is on the way back. Here’s a question, why is Rocket Man talking to Trump when he’s never talked to anybody else? Because he knows Trump means business.” Seriously Linda?

If you believe Michael Cohen, and honestly why wouldn’t we, what does he have to lose, Trump is a racist, a cheat and a con man. I know you are as surprised as I am! At the very least Trump has fulfilled the prophecy of Don Corleone “I never wanted this for you. I thought that, that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the string. Senator Corleone; Governor Corleone” by bagging the biggest prize the head of a crime family can get, the golden ticket, the money printing machine, President of the United States. Just remember how it worked out in the end for Michael Corleone.

Mr. Deplorable came out with a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew and a big bag of Fritos Corn Chips. The breakfast of constipated champions I suppose. As I watched him waddle to his truck I thought about all of the Washington politicians screaming for his attention on Fox News; President Donald “Kim told me he didn’t do it” Trump, my own Sen. Linda “John McCain who?” Graham, Sen. Jim “I love the feel of wrestling tights” Jordan, Sen. Mark “I know all of the black folk that work at Waffle House” Meadows, and my new favorite Rep. Matt “When you’re in prison can I date your wife” Gaetz. What is the common denominator between Mr. Mountain Dew and this gaggle of Washington celebrities? Their color, and the number of chromosomes (except for Linda) they share.

Be patient my fellow patriots, the end is near and the stains are becoming sharper and clearer. Rep. Elijah Cummings, a man who has endured both pain and sacrifice for freedom and equality has battled these forces before and I am confident he will see this fight through to its bitter end.

“When we’re dancing with the angels, the question we’ll be asked: In 2019, what did we do to make sure we kept our democracy intact? Did we stand on the sidelines and say nothing?”- Rep. Elijah Cummings

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Cleaning the stain

Oxi Clean

I attended an interfaith panel meeting last week to discuss the question “Who is my Neighbor?” The panel included a Rabbi, a Muslim Cleric, a Catholic Priest, a non-denominational Christian Pastor, a Baha’i leader, and a Pastor from an African-American Baptist Church. A pretty diverse group.

It was interesting to hear how these people described “a neighbor” as it pertained to their beliefs and faith. The common thread? We are all neighbors despite our differences, at least we should be.

As you would imagine the conversation traveled into today’s tribal mentality. The question was posed to the panel, “are any of you concerned that racist, sexist, homophobes, xenophobes and religious bigots now feel empowered to speak their minds?”. After a few moments of silence the Rabbi, a young man, said; “In order to clean a stain we first have to see the stain.” 

As hard as it is to believe I tell my kids that a Donald Trump presidency was probably the best thing that ever happened to America. Barack Obama showed us the possibilities, and Trump, well, Trump has shown us just how far we still have to go. What Trump has accomplished in two short years has made it easier for the rest of us to see all the “stains” that still blemish this great country. And it’s not just the racist, sexist, homophobes, xenophobes and religious bigots that are being exposed but also the powerful, the privileged, and the old white establishment. We all knew that the Trumps still existed hiding behind the gates of Mar-a-Lago, marching in the street wearing Nazi and Klan emblems, stockpiling weapons to assassinate democrats and journalist and now we can see them.

You see, the Donald Trump’s of the world weren’t a symptom but the disease that have held to many other Americans down for too many centuries. I can promise you, when this is all over, Donald Trump and his family will rue the day he was ever elected President. Future generations and history will view him, and Mitch McConnell, and Lindsey Graham, and Ryan Zinke, and Jim Jordan, and Scott Pruitt, and…………. as the privileged white men willing to stain this country in order to fill their bank accounts. Judgement day is here and hopefully we will all be smart enough NOT to forget the lessons we have learned from this misadventure.

 

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