National Joke

Trump Clown

Yes, this clown is our national joke but today is also officially National Tell a Joke Day. So to celebrate and recognize our national joke with some humor, at his expense, below are a few of my favorite T-rump jokes. Feel free to share yours.

How do you get Trump to change a light bulb? Tell him Obama put it in.

What’s the difference between Trump and the Hindenburg? One is a flaming Nazi gasbag and the other is a zeppelin.

What did Trump say when asked how to respond to Hurricane Florence? “Pay her the same as Stormy Daniels!”

A man died one day and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter replied, “Those are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie-clock. Every time you lie the hands on the clock will move.” “Oh,” said the man as he pointed at one of them, “Whose clock is that?” St. Peter replied, “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.” “That’s incredible, ” said the man. St. Peter pointed to another clock, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe only told two lies in his entire life.” The man was impressed, and then asked, “Where’s Donald Trump’s clock?” St. Peter said, “His clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day.” Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?” The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”

Why do Republicans insist on supporting Trump? Because they believe in taking a baby to full term.

What’s the difference between Russia and reality? Trump had connections with Russia.

Obama, Hillary Clinton and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, “Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned and what you believe in.” God asks Obama first: “What do you believe?” Obama thinks long and hard, looks God straight in the eye, and says, “I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen.” God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Obama, and offers him a seat to his left. Then God turns to Clinton and says, “And what do you believe?” Clinton ponders for a while and then says, “I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. Like Obama I believe in hard work. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I’ve always tried to be a true patriot and a loyal American.” God is greatly moved by Clinton’s eloquence, and he offers her a seat to his right. Finally, God turns to Trump and says, “And you, Donald, what do you believe?” Trump replies, “I believe you’re in my seat.”

Donald Trump says to Mike Pence, “The less immigrants we allow in, the better.” Pence says, “The fewer”. Trump says, “I told you not to call me that yet.”

I’m not a big fan of Donald Trump, but I’d never denigrate his supporters. If you’re a Trump supporter, denigrate means to put down.

Trump and Putin are out to dinner. The waiter asks Putin what he would like to order. “I’ll have the steak,” Putin says. The waiter says, “And for your vegetable?” “He’ll have the steak, too.”

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Chicken nuggets in heaven

trump-el-paso-orphan

Trump and the Third Lady give American White Nationalist a great big smile and thumbs-up for a job well done while holding a baby, now orphaned after both his parents Andre and Jordan Anchondo were murdered in the El Paso, Texas, mass shooting.

“Terrible things are happening outside… poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes. Families are torn apart; men, women and children are separated. Children come home from school to find that their parents have disappeared.” – Anne Frank (Jan 13, 1943)

We have a state farmers market in Greenville, a great place to head on a Saturday morning to buy fresh vegetables, fruits and plants for your garden. But on the same property, literally 200 yards away, is our notorious chicken processing plant, the House of Raeford-Columbia Farms Greenville Plant. Every day, “chicken trucks” barrel down Hwy. 291, 50 to 100 per day, packed with terrified and demented yellow birds raised in wire shoe boxes and filled with growth hormones to be killed and dissembled into chicken nuggets. For the chickens it would be a horrible way to spend your short time on earth and for the workers of the chicken processing plant, a horrible way to earn a living to pay your rent and feed your family.

On the House of Raeford website, a smiling, white man stands in front of a green pasture with the caption; “As a family-owned and operated private company, we have the freedom to make our own decisions about what’s right for our employees, customers, suppliers, and communities. We feel a keen sense of responsibility to do what’s right—and we take it very seriously.”

But back to the farmers market, there are days, when the wind and the temperature are right, that the smell in the market is intolerable and the odor penetrates everything. I have bought cantaloupe at the market and taken them home. Rather than filling my home with a sweet aroma I got, you guessed it, chicken shit. Given this experience 200 yards away I can only imagine what it actually smells like inside the plant.

If you were looking for a job and you had made a list of 20 potential companies to submit an application too the chicken processing plant would be number 200 on your list. But if you are a convicted felon, or an immigrant whose papers might not exactly be in order, a job at the plant is in your top 5, honestly, probably your top 2 or 3.

When you read the reviews of working at the House of Raeford-Columbia Farms Greenville Plant former employees note the working conditions, as cold, smelly, and stressful. And in how they are treated by management, they use words like disrespectful, rude, condescending and unprofessional. If you think about it, how the workers are treated really isn’t that surprising. This is the last place in the world ANYONE would want to work.

It is common knowledge that plants like this prefer undocumented workers because they are less likely to question working conditions for fear of losing their jobs or being deported. Remember the statement above, “we have the freedom to make our own decisions about what’s right for our employees….” Certainly true within some legal OSHA and U. S. Department of Labor parameters but hey they are just government regulations, Frump is working to “streamline” that kind of shit for you rich white guys.

So this week while Drump was staging, yes staging, his “compassion and empathy tour of Dayton and El Paso”, attempting and failing to look “Presidential” his resident Neo-Nazi and White Nationalist senior advisor Stephen Miller was organizing ICE raids in five Mississippi meat packing plants. More than 600 ICE agents detained and forcibly removed 680 mothers and fathers from their jobs and their families as Deplorable nation chanted in unison, “SEND THEM BACK, SEND THEM BACK”.

But what about the five companies raided? All poultry processing plants. Do they shoulder any blame for allowing undocumented workers in their plants? Deplorables aren’t going sniff that trail because remember we are talking about smiling, white man standing in front of green pastures talking about freedom, family, rights, and cheap chicken nuggets at Walmart and Burger King. No, these rich white men will get hit with a slap on the wrist and a fine that won’t leave a dent in their billions of which they will send the Trump campaign its cut for wink, wink, taking care of this, “We didn’t know there were illegal Mexicans working here. Hell, you know, they all look the same to us.”

So while the rich white men at Koch Foods and Peco Foods live their white, affluent lives the children of 680 mothers and fathers had to live through the terror of losing their parents. 300 of the 680 adults have since been released for various reasons (namely, ICE didn’t know what the hell they were going to do with 680 human beings) and, according to Homeland Security, “returned to the place where they were originally encountered” meaning, dumped right back at the chicken plants they grabbed them from.

People, this is Nazi Germany, Adolph Hitler, Joseph Goebbels kind of shit except the names have been changed to the Republican Party, Donald Trump and Stephen Miller. At this point the only difference I can see is that we aren’t gassing the inhabitants of our concentration camps, and they are concentration camps.

The saddest and scariest part of all of this is that Trump and Miller are eating it up. They love this shit. They love the image of 680 “Mexicans” being led out of plants with their hands tied behind their backs. Hell that’s Trumps next Facebook campaign video. They love images of brown children crying, begging for their parents return. It is the ultimate, sadistic power trip for both of them and it makes their little dicks hard.

And sadly, those millions of fat, white, racist, rednecks that Hillary Clinton so appropriately labeled Deplorables, they love it too. For these cretins, these monsters who think they are tight with God and that their heaven ticket has already been punched, good luck with your face to face with Jesus. There is a chicken processing plant in hell with a spot on the line with your name on it. That’s where you are headed because chicken nuggets are popular in heaven too.

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Stop watering dead flowers

Send-her-back

Imagine it is Saturday morning and you head with your family to Walmart. It feels like any other, ordinary Saturday. Maybe you are taking your kids for back-to-school shopping, always exciting particularly if you have a young one going into the first grade. Maybe you are grocery shopping. Moms at home with the kids and you are checking the list she gave you, happy to have an hour to yourself. Yes, it is an ordinary Saturday like a 100 other Saturdays before. You are shopping for lettuce, colored pencils, motor-oil, it’s Walmart what could go wrong? That’s what 46 families are asking themselves this Sunday, what could go wrong?

While 29 people were murdered in two separate incidents this weekend, by two lone gun men using assault weapons Trump was playing golf and crashing weddings at his country club. One of the massacres has been ruled a hate crime, an act of violence encouraged by the hateful rhetoric and policies of the man pretending to be the President of the United States. Not convinced?

Trump: “Build the Wall!”

El Paso Shooter: “Build the Wall!”

Trump: “Immigrants are invading our country!”

El Paso Shooter: “Immigrants are invading our country!”

Trump: “Send them back!”

El Paso Shooter: “Send them back!”

Trump: “Fake News!”

El Paso Shooter: “Fake News!”

I have ventured to guess that Trump’s die-hard, core supporters, those white people who attend his ego rally’s, wear his “sign of the beast” signature red baseball cap, wave their flags, pray to their white Jesus on his behalf, and murder other human being in his name number about 35% of our population. In round numbers, that’s about 115,000,000. 115,000,000 people who believe Trump is the second coming of Christ here to save and protect us from the brown boogeyman, Latin-Americans, Muslims, and Blacks. To stand-up to China, which is costing Americans billions, the Deep State all while lining his pockets with silver and gold and kissing the ass of dictators, Saudi Arabia, and Israel, countries lining his families pockets.

How should the rest of us, the other 65%, 215,000,000 of us treat the 35%? As dead flowers that we need to stop watering. After reading all the defenders of this piece of shit today on Twitter I am utterly convinced we can’t save them. They are done, toast, dead and sadly that includes people in my own family. We can’t save the 35% of Americans that support Trump. They have a terminal disease with no cure insight. Their racist, nationalist hearts are clogged with Trump and Fox News lies.

Will we get rid of them? Some will die a slow, painful death and will end up in hell with Trump, Pence and Franklin Graham but others will breed more little fucked-up Trumpers and in the warped minds of these in-breeds, Trumps legacy, like Hitlers, will live a little longer. But that legacy will die, just as they will die and we can once again go to Walmart and buy our kids spiral notebooks without fearing for our lives because an orange piece of shit has a hole where his heart should be.

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Thoughts, and prays…..again

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” – Nelson Mandela

Trump-racist-remarks

Moms Demand Action

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Change the headline

‘It’s breaking my heart’: Greenville, NC, wrestles with fallout of Donald Trump’s rally

Many years ago, not long out of college, I interviewed for a position in advertising sales with the local television station in Greenville, NC. I had been working at a radio station for about six months in a market 100 miles south of Greenville. I thought, as many recent college graduates do, that I knew everything there was to know about media sales and was ready to make the big jump into television.

The position was for an Agriculture co-op coordinator meaning, I would try to get money from John Deere Corporation to help supplement the advertising budget of the local John Deere tractor dealer. I didn’t know shit about tractors, corn or soy beans but again, I had a degree in marketing how hard could it be?

The local sales manager was going to meet me in the lounge of the Holiday Inn in Greenville. Think about that for a moment, how many Holiday Inn’s still have a lounge? Not many. When I got out of college my Dad bought me two suits, a brown one and a blue one and six dress shirts, three whites and three blues. That was my entire workplace wardrobe. I decided to wear the blue suit for this interview.

If any of you remember the sales manager Herb Tarlek in the television show WKRP in Cincinnati that is basically who I was meeting. Here I was in the lizard lounge of the Holiday Inn wearing my Sunday best blue suit, white shirt and red tie and everyone else in the bar, including the guy I was interviewing with, were wearing leisure suits with flora rayon shirts. The guy took one look at me and said, and I quote “I think you are too slick for this job, Slick. Let me buy you a beer for the ride home.” End of interview.

35 years ago agriculture was the king in Greenville, NC with tobacco production being the prized cash crop. But that has changed in recent years and East Carolina University has, in large part, led that change. What was once a sleepy teacher training school is now a leading Health Sciences and Research university drawing a diverse base of students and faculty as well and spurring industries to take advantage of not only the research but the graduate population. But I guess some of the Herb Tarlek’s in baby blue leisure suits and rayon shirts still remain in Greenville, NC.

Greenville, NC might be somewhat metropolitan, progressive, inclusive, and even Hillary voters but the rest of Pitt County aint’. White folk in Winterville, Farmville, Grimesland, and Bell Arthur are Democrat hating, flag waving, NASCAR loving, Bud drinking, pick-up truck driving, Americans by God and if some ungrateful, foreign born, Muslim, colored girl wants to poke a stick at their “President” then she needs to go…..“Send her back”.

I live in a Greenville also, Greenville, SC. Once upon a time we were a sleepy little southern town just like our sister city in North Carolina expect our king was textiles, not agriculture. When I read the USA Today article above I asked myself, “could the headline have read Greenville, SC rather than Greenville, NC”? Although Trump carried 60% of Greenville County voters there are many of us in my community that think of ourselves as forward, progressive (now seemingly a dirty word) thinkers but the question remained for me, could this have happened here, in my backyard? Sadly, the answer I believe is yes.

The debate for me isn’t if Trump is a racist. If he is or isn’t we can’t fix the warped mind of a 73 year old narcissist. What we can fix and fight are Trumps continued attempts to divide us, divide us with words, and divide us with policies. All of his reelection hopes, dreams and fears hang on his ability to energize his white base and how do you energize white people in Farmville, NC or Pelzer, SC you call a CNN’s Don Lemon, a black man “the dumbest man on television”, you call Rep. Elijah Cummings, also a black man, a “racist” and the city he represents, Baltimore, “rat infested”. You call Democrats “Socialist” and you press for Voter ID’s which always weed out minorities. And worse of all, you call four strong women of color America hatters because they dare to disagree with you and you allow your white throng of racist, rednecks to chant “Send her back”.

Rumi noted that “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” This nation has a lot of work ahead of it in both healing wounds and offering not only light but the compassion and space for people to heal. Let’s hope the people of Greenville, NC find the light and the space to reconcile an image that many in their community don’t believe they deserve. Hate has no place in our society but sadly since the dawn of time our societies have glorified and worshiped men of hate such as Trump, Stalin and Hitler. There will be others but hopefully some will learn from this most recent mistake.

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Send her back

I have written about this in the past but I think it bears repeating in this white nationalist era Trump is driving us too. I grew up in the South, Charlotte to be specific, a child of the 1960’s and 70’s. Schools in Charlotte were segregated but that changed when I was in the fourth grade. Before, I attended an all-white school, with all white teachers, cafeteria workers, even custodians. But in the fourth grade we had a few black teachers and black students bused to my neighborhood school. The following year I was bused to the black neighborhood school. It was, and continues to be, the only point in my life when I was in the minority.

Charlotte was working hard to change its image from the Old South to the New South. Banking empires were being created in the city center and the new power base knew that in order to compete on the national stage diversity and equal opportunity would have to become the battle cry. But not everyone in Charlotte was interested in a New South including many of my neighbors who moved out of the city limits into the county which hadn’t embraced the need for segregation just yet.

I missed the Jim Crow era in Charlotte though there were still remnants of it around. As a kid my interaction with “coloreds” as my Grandmother called blacks when she was being charitable was limited to Mr. Alexander the Post Man, Ralph the “Bag Boy” (obviously not a boy but a hulking man who gave me rides in the bag cart to the car) at the A & P and Walter, a man who showed-up twice a year to trim our bushes and who put six kids through college with just a pair of sharp shears. For a very brief period of time our family had “a girl”, a black lady who came to clean the house twice a week but my mother was uncomfortable with that. Not uncomfortable about having a black women in our home, but what having “a girl” come clean said about her and her respect for and the dignity of another human being.

So for the better part of my first 30 years of existences there were two races, white and black and for the most part we kept on our side of the street and they kept on theirs.

But around 1990 I began to notice a new color, brown and people that were referred to as “Mexicans”. I had experienced Latin Americans before but primarily as agriculture workers. The area that I moved too in the mid-1980’s was, at one time, a large producer of peaches. My family would grab a basket or two of peaches every year from one of the local orchards and watch the Latin Americans labor in the hot July and August sun picking the ripe fruit off the trees on narrow ladders.

But over the next few years these “Mexicans” began showing-up at the car wash, in landscape crews, on construction sites and in restaurants. Latin Americans were no longer relegated to picking peaches or tomatoes but they were building our houses and cooking our food. They became integrated into our personal and professional lives but remained separate and isolated from our social lives and this, I have figured out makes the Trumpers angry.

Somehow the white nationalist think the Latin Americans are taking advantage of them. Working jobs no one else wants to do and sending the money back home to feed their families. How dare they abuse the American Dream! Trumpers liked the good old days, the Old South when blacks mowed their grass, cooked and served their food, washed their cars, and said yes sir, and thank you sir, in English, and then went back to their neighborhoods, away from them. In the good old days, blacks knew their place in society. Trumpers like that, miss that, and are working hard, oh so hard, to bring it back.

Here is the thing all you followers of the stable orange genius can’t, won’t or are simply ignoring, without all those of “Mexicans” living, working and trying to cross the Rio Grande into this country the American economy would collapse, not with a thud but with a reverberating “Oh Shit”. If that crash ever happens my suggestion would be to put your head between your legs and kiss your lily white ass goodbye cause if the brown folk leave we are screwed. But you, Mr. and Mrs. Deplorable are too fucking stupid to figure that out. You would rather yell “Send her back” with all your other white friends because you think “white is right”. Well I am here to tell you, white ain’t right and white ain’t the future, tan is, light brown, dark brown. I can only hope that you will be dead very soon so that we, the real Americans, can move forward with the business of being real Americans and not racist Nazis pigs like you! Peace.

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Enemy of the People

hitler-trump

“The great strength of the totalitarian state is that it forces those who fear it to imitate it.” – Adolf Hitler

1

“The Jews don’t want to go to Madagascar – They cannot bear the climate. Jews are pests and disseminators of diseases. In whatever country they settle and spread themselves out, they produce the same effects as are produced in the human body by germs. … In former times sane people and sane leaders of the peoples made short shrift of enemies of the people. They had them either expelled or killed.” – Der Stürmer

Central American migrants are seen inside an enclosure where they are being held after turning themselves in to request asylum, in El Paso

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.” – Donald Trump

4

“All of us, who are members of the Germanic peoples, can be happy and thankful that once in thousands of years fate has given us, from among the Germanic peoples, such a genius, a leader, our Fuehrer Adolf Hitler, and you should be happy to be allowed to work with us.” –  Heinrich Himmler

3

“He’s a man of his word and a man of action. It’s been two years of action, two year of results and two years of promises made and promises kept. And we’re just getting started.” – Mike Pence on Trump

Oscar Ramirez

“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” – Statue of Liberty

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