I am not nasty enough

It has been brought to my attention that I may be too nice, not mean enough. I thought about this today. How can I be more controversial, more contentious, more disagreeable, nastier.

A little background. I am southern, about as southern as they come. I say yes Ma’am, and no Sir. I speak to strangers, and look them in the eye and say good morning (it doesn’t play well in New York City). I stand-up when a lady comes to the table and leaves. I pull her chair out when she gets up and sits down. I open doors, I hold doors for everyone, because that is just the way my mother trained me.

Yes, I can be an asshole, I can speak my mind, but I will call you a piece of shit with a smile on my face and add a “bless his heart” as in “bless his heart but he really is a piece of shit”. It is hard for me to be a “dickhead”. I try sometimes but my mother’s voice rings in my head, be a compassionate human first and an asshole when compassion fails or when your family is threatened.

Maybe it’s the feminine side of me. Remember I only raised daughters, sensitive, quick to cry when their feelings are hurt daughters. I guard my words carefully, I swallow my knee jerk reactions because I am a son, a husband and a father of females and we all know that females are the perfect human beings.

Yes I am a nice guy. I take care of the widow across the street. I get my neighbor’s paper when they are out-of-town. I listen to opinions, and I accept everyone’s point of view. But don’t think you can run over me, or bully me. If I need to fight I will. If I need to protect my family, my values, you don’t want to f*ck with me. I am a big boy and I can have a very nasty attitude.

So if you read my blog and want me to be more controversial, more contentious, more disagreeable, and nastier I am sorry, I can’t. Trump or no Trump. Life is short, and as my Grandmother always said “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Bless your heart.

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About ends and beginnings blog

I am a frustrated writer and poet waiting to be discovered. A stand-up philosopher performing on a street corner near you. A Christian with questions but I don’t want to hear your answers. A Buddhist with a bumper sticker on my truck to prove it. A collector of quotes. A grower of lettuce. The Patron Saint of earthworms who name their children after me. A cyclist whose big ass strains the seams of his Lycra bibs. I am American by birth, Southern by the grace of God. My goal in life is to leave an imprint on the lives of the people I love not a footprint on the earth. I am a son, a husband, a father composed of 65%-Oxygen, 18%-Carbon, 10%-Hydrogen, 3%-Nitrogen, 3%-Diet Coke and 1%-Oreo.
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11 Responses to I am not nasty enough

  1. Well shucks and dang it, y’all. I like ya just as you are. Don’t worry about the buttholes that don’t see gentle in the word gentleman. Somebody needs to show the world that not all American men are jerks. Looks like it’s up to you and me, buddy.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Nan says:

    Ewww. Pretty syrupy. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. JJS says:

    The world needs more genuine nice than we have. Thanks for not snuffing yours.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. We’ll miss you down here in the mud pit.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Will says:

    Has a male born and raised in a family of strong Southern ladies, Well Done. Living in the Midwest has caused me to adapt. You’re post balance out my radical newly found Punk sentiments. There’s a reason security isn’t needed at Punk shows but at large country festivals. We take care of our own issues. The vast majority asking them to Leave is enough. Everyone’s welcome.
    Being polite takes no effort but has great returns. Enjoy reading your blog. Happy Holidays from a place of White Xmas.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Patty says:

    I hope this is not an apology for being you…since I KNOW I don’t have to tell you, that would be ridiculous…
    XxX

    Liked by 1 person

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