Noon kick-off

“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money, and we don’t have any.” – Erik Russell.

This is labor day weekend, a long weekend of relaxation for some and a long weekend of work for others serving those relaxing. I am one of the lucky ones that get an extra day tacked on to my weekend.

Rather than spend my long weekend at home working in the yard my wife and I are headed to the mountains for some cooler weather and a few miles on the hiking trails after and certainly not while my wife’s favorite college football team is playing their first game of the season on television. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, the 2017 College Football Season begins Saturday and there is one person in my house that has been waiting eight months for its arrival and it ain’t me.

My wife has prepared for the opening kick-off by watching all of the preseason college football programs on ESPN and reading the online magazines. As I have posted before she has three college teams she roots for, Clemson, Appalachian State, and whoever is playing against South Carolina. Add to that the Carolina Panthers and the new addition of the Houston Texans, because of all the Clemson players they have on their roster, her Saturdays and Sundays will be busy for the next few months watching and yelling at the television. Unlike her husband, she has never played a down of football in her life but her football knowledge, and her ability to coach from the sofa is, in a word, underwhelming.

My children refuse to watch or attend games with her because this lovely, sweet, and caring woman becomes a loud and obnoxious expert on all things football in the bleachers and on the sofa. It is a side of her few would believe she can keep bottled up for eight months and unleash for four. For the uninitiated it can be a frightening side of her to experience. For her children, irritating, and for me, well, I simply tolerate it. What other choices do I have?

As I have gotten older I no longer crave the “stadium” experience. Dealing with traffic, heat and drunks just isn’t as much fun for me now as it was ten years ago. The view from my sofa, in front of my four-foot wide high-definition television with the A/C set on 69 is the perfect spot to listen to my wife say “Shit” a hundred times over four quarters. The path to my grill and refrigerator full of beer is unencumbered and there is no line in the bathroom.

My lack of interest in attending games is a bone of contention between the two of us because my lovely, sweet, and caring wife loves yelling “Shit” with 80,000 other fans yelling “Shit”. We have already attended one Panthers preseason game this year which I am hoping at least gets me through October before I have to attend another game of some sort. We will see. Pray for me.

“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” – John McKay